Presence

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Mon, 12/02/2019 - 08:00

The plan was in motion before I got on the plane.

When your leukemia came back suddenly 3 years after your stem cell transplant, it was devastating. But we had a plan. Your cancer developed a new mutation we could target with a chemotherapy drug. If we got you into a second remission, we could consolidate it by infusing more of your donor’s stem cells.

We met in the hospital, but I was adamant to “keep” you as my patient when you got to the clinic. I made swaps to see you, to get the continuity I value so much but often lose as a fellow, rotating from clinic to hospital to clinic.

I was grateful to see how well you dealt with the chemotherapy. Typically it’s a tough regimen, but you hardly had side effects. Between visits, I would check your blood counts on my phone, watching your blast count fall and your normal blood cells rise. Watching the cancer disappear.

Your lumbar punctures were negative, negative, negative – my favorite word, I told you. I was involved in long email threads coordinating the timing of your stem cell infusion with the remission we were achieving.

We were on our way.

One day, your lumbar puncture came back with a few “atypical” cells. I called the pathologist, and upon further review they were convinced the cells were reactive, not cancer. The next lumbar puncture was normal, but it was hard to ignore.

“Are you worried?” I asked my attending in clinic.

“I’m always worried,” she said. Neither of us truly believed the leukemia was back, but with the odds against us, we pored over every detail, always on the alert for a clue to an outcome we feared.

By now, the stem cell infusion was all set up. The donor was ready; so was the medical team; so were you. It was exciting. I thought of how a different attending described his interest in leukemia: There’s a subset you get to cure. Yes, you were going to be one of them.

Your big day coincided with a vacation I had scheduled months before. I was sorry I would be missing the actual moment, but happy I would come back to good news.

I left my coat and badge at the hospital, packed my bags, and got on the plane. I refrained from immediately checking your blood counts on my phone as soon as we landed. That night, jet lagged, I let myself look before I go to sleep. Relief. Your numbers still looked good.

da-kuk/Getty Images

Every day, I explored. My Internet was spotty during my travels, and when I would I finally get service I would peek at your latest blood tests.

Day 1. Cooled lava canyons. Black sand beaches. Circulating blast count: 0%.

Day 2: Glacier tour. A national park. Geysers. Blast count: 2%.

Day 3: We drive along the shore to see a famous waterfall, where you can climb a set of winding stairs to the top.

I check my phone before we start the climb. No service.

And so we begin. The wind cuts as I count steps. 403, 404, 405 … and 406. We are there. The air is thin, the world quiet. My nose is running from the cold.

We hike a bit, and I glance down again. Still no signal. It’s probably for the best. The scenery is spectacular.

Two miles later, I get service. I open the blood work first. Circulating blast count: 5%. But the other counts are okay. It could still be reactive, I say to myself, though on a deeper level I think of my attending’s words: I’m always worried. The stem cell infusion is scheduled for tomorrow.

I hear the rush of the water hitting the rocks below. Icicles form to our left. Sheep graze on our right. I appreciate the feeling of my muscles aching as we climb, higher and higher, a reminder of where I am and my place in it.

At the very top, we pause to take photos. And I get a signal again. I open the bone marrow biopsy report and skim the pathologist’s words. My eyes glue on the summary: 80% blasts, compatible with relapsed leukemia.

I let out an audible gasp.

Do you know? How will they tell you? I am painfully aware of the distance between us, in so many ways.

I want to be present. And soon I will be back, and I will be visiting in the hospital, and we will be having hard conversations and thinking about hard decisions.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

But I’m not there right now. Someone else is. Here, now, I realize what I cannot do. The best way I can be present for you later is to be present where I am now.

I stuff my phone in my backpack and zip it closed. I step carefully forward on the rocks, slippery from the rain. My nose is running again, but not from the cold.

“What do you think?” my partner asks.

“The views are incredible,” I say.

Minor details of this story were changed to protect privacy.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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The plan was in motion before I got on the plane.

When your leukemia came back suddenly 3 years after your stem cell transplant, it was devastating. But we had a plan. Your cancer developed a new mutation we could target with a chemotherapy drug. If we got you into a second remission, we could consolidate it by infusing more of your donor’s stem cells.

We met in the hospital, but I was adamant to “keep” you as my patient when you got to the clinic. I made swaps to see you, to get the continuity I value so much but often lose as a fellow, rotating from clinic to hospital to clinic.

I was grateful to see how well you dealt with the chemotherapy. Typically it’s a tough regimen, but you hardly had side effects. Between visits, I would check your blood counts on my phone, watching your blast count fall and your normal blood cells rise. Watching the cancer disappear.

Your lumbar punctures were negative, negative, negative – my favorite word, I told you. I was involved in long email threads coordinating the timing of your stem cell infusion with the remission we were achieving.

We were on our way.

One day, your lumbar puncture came back with a few “atypical” cells. I called the pathologist, and upon further review they were convinced the cells were reactive, not cancer. The next lumbar puncture was normal, but it was hard to ignore.

“Are you worried?” I asked my attending in clinic.

“I’m always worried,” she said. Neither of us truly believed the leukemia was back, but with the odds against us, we pored over every detail, always on the alert for a clue to an outcome we feared.

By now, the stem cell infusion was all set up. The donor was ready; so was the medical team; so were you. It was exciting. I thought of how a different attending described his interest in leukemia: There’s a subset you get to cure. Yes, you were going to be one of them.

Your big day coincided with a vacation I had scheduled months before. I was sorry I would be missing the actual moment, but happy I would come back to good news.

I left my coat and badge at the hospital, packed my bags, and got on the plane. I refrained from immediately checking your blood counts on my phone as soon as we landed. That night, jet lagged, I let myself look before I go to sleep. Relief. Your numbers still looked good.

da-kuk/Getty Images

Every day, I explored. My Internet was spotty during my travels, and when I would I finally get service I would peek at your latest blood tests.

Day 1. Cooled lava canyons. Black sand beaches. Circulating blast count: 0%.

Day 2: Glacier tour. A national park. Geysers. Blast count: 2%.

Day 3: We drive along the shore to see a famous waterfall, where you can climb a set of winding stairs to the top.

I check my phone before we start the climb. No service.

And so we begin. The wind cuts as I count steps. 403, 404, 405 … and 406. We are there. The air is thin, the world quiet. My nose is running from the cold.

We hike a bit, and I glance down again. Still no signal. It’s probably for the best. The scenery is spectacular.

Two miles later, I get service. I open the blood work first. Circulating blast count: 5%. But the other counts are okay. It could still be reactive, I say to myself, though on a deeper level I think of my attending’s words: I’m always worried. The stem cell infusion is scheduled for tomorrow.

I hear the rush of the water hitting the rocks below. Icicles form to our left. Sheep graze on our right. I appreciate the feeling of my muscles aching as we climb, higher and higher, a reminder of where I am and my place in it.

At the very top, we pause to take photos. And I get a signal again. I open the bone marrow biopsy report and skim the pathologist’s words. My eyes glue on the summary: 80% blasts, compatible with relapsed leukemia.

I let out an audible gasp.

Do you know? How will they tell you? I am painfully aware of the distance between us, in so many ways.

I want to be present. And soon I will be back, and I will be visiting in the hospital, and we will be having hard conversations and thinking about hard decisions.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

But I’m not there right now. Someone else is. Here, now, I realize what I cannot do. The best way I can be present for you later is to be present where I am now.

I stuff my phone in my backpack and zip it closed. I step carefully forward on the rocks, slippery from the rain. My nose is running again, but not from the cold.

“What do you think?” my partner asks.

“The views are incredible,” I say.

Minor details of this story were changed to protect privacy.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

The plan was in motion before I got on the plane.

When your leukemia came back suddenly 3 years after your stem cell transplant, it was devastating. But we had a plan. Your cancer developed a new mutation we could target with a chemotherapy drug. If we got you into a second remission, we could consolidate it by infusing more of your donor’s stem cells.

We met in the hospital, but I was adamant to “keep” you as my patient when you got to the clinic. I made swaps to see you, to get the continuity I value so much but often lose as a fellow, rotating from clinic to hospital to clinic.

I was grateful to see how well you dealt with the chemotherapy. Typically it’s a tough regimen, but you hardly had side effects. Between visits, I would check your blood counts on my phone, watching your blast count fall and your normal blood cells rise. Watching the cancer disappear.

Your lumbar punctures were negative, negative, negative – my favorite word, I told you. I was involved in long email threads coordinating the timing of your stem cell infusion with the remission we were achieving.

We were on our way.

One day, your lumbar puncture came back with a few “atypical” cells. I called the pathologist, and upon further review they were convinced the cells were reactive, not cancer. The next lumbar puncture was normal, but it was hard to ignore.

“Are you worried?” I asked my attending in clinic.

“I’m always worried,” she said. Neither of us truly believed the leukemia was back, but with the odds against us, we pored over every detail, always on the alert for a clue to an outcome we feared.

By now, the stem cell infusion was all set up. The donor was ready; so was the medical team; so were you. It was exciting. I thought of how a different attending described his interest in leukemia: There’s a subset you get to cure. Yes, you were going to be one of them.

Your big day coincided with a vacation I had scheduled months before. I was sorry I would be missing the actual moment, but happy I would come back to good news.

I left my coat and badge at the hospital, packed my bags, and got on the plane. I refrained from immediately checking your blood counts on my phone as soon as we landed. That night, jet lagged, I let myself look before I go to sleep. Relief. Your numbers still looked good.

da-kuk/Getty Images

Every day, I explored. My Internet was spotty during my travels, and when I would I finally get service I would peek at your latest blood tests.

Day 1. Cooled lava canyons. Black sand beaches. Circulating blast count: 0%.

Day 2: Glacier tour. A national park. Geysers. Blast count: 2%.

Day 3: We drive along the shore to see a famous waterfall, where you can climb a set of winding stairs to the top.

I check my phone before we start the climb. No service.

And so we begin. The wind cuts as I count steps. 403, 404, 405 … and 406. We are there. The air is thin, the world quiet. My nose is running from the cold.

We hike a bit, and I glance down again. Still no signal. It’s probably for the best. The scenery is spectacular.

Two miles later, I get service. I open the blood work first. Circulating blast count: 5%. But the other counts are okay. It could still be reactive, I say to myself, though on a deeper level I think of my attending’s words: I’m always worried. The stem cell infusion is scheduled for tomorrow.

I hear the rush of the water hitting the rocks below. Icicles form to our left. Sheep graze on our right. I appreciate the feeling of my muscles aching as we climb, higher and higher, a reminder of where I am and my place in it.

At the very top, we pause to take photos. And I get a signal again. I open the bone marrow biopsy report and skim the pathologist’s words. My eyes glue on the summary: 80% blasts, compatible with relapsed leukemia.

I let out an audible gasp.

Do you know? How will they tell you? I am painfully aware of the distance between us, in so many ways.

I want to be present. And soon I will be back, and I will be visiting in the hospital, and we will be having hard conversations and thinking about hard decisions.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

But I’m not there right now. Someone else is. Here, now, I realize what I cannot do. The best way I can be present for you later is to be present where I am now.

I stuff my phone in my backpack and zip it closed. I step carefully forward on the rocks, slippery from the rain. My nose is running again, but not from the cold.

“What do you think?” my partner asks.

“The views are incredible,” I say.

Minor details of this story were changed to protect privacy.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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‘How did I get cancer?’

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Fri, 11/01/2019 - 08:00

We are 20 minutes into the visit. My patient is 77 years old, a retired school administrator. She was sent to the oncology clinic for a new diagnosis of lung cancer with metastases to the liver and bones.

I was asking my usual questions – how did this all begin? – and I was hearing the usual answers. The cough that didn’t get better with antibiotics. The unintentional weight loss. The chest x-ray that looked “fuzzy.”

I continue: How many packs of cigarettes a day, and for how many years? Any family history of cancer?

These were my standard questions. They were met by hers: “How did I get this?”

I recently hosted a podcast on common, difficult questions we hear in hematology and oncology. How long do I have to live? What would you do if this were your family member?

This was another. There are variations to be sure. How, why, why me, what did I do, what didn’t I do, did my doctor miss it, if I had this or that test would they have caught it sooner?



When I was an internist, I talked about prevention. Meeting a new patient meant sizing them up for risk factors. In their habits I saw opportunities for healthier choices. In their family histories I gathered warning signs.

Now, I ask the same probing questions, but the purpose is not the same. Smoking, alcohol, family history, I ask these of everyone, I reassure them. It’s no longer about assessing risk. It’s not to place blame. But they read into the fact that I am asking, because they have asked themselves the same.

They ask why.

I try not to overdo the pity. I say that I’m sorry this is happening, but I don’t dwell. What I want to convey is the opposite – it’s normalcy. What I want to convey is: I’ve seen this a million times. This is where we are, and here is where we go. We don’t dwell or regret or wonder what if. My patients don’t want sympathy – at least, not from their doctor. They want a plan.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

They ask: How did I get this?

It’s bad luck, I say. It’s a genetic mutation causing a cell to replicate.

My answers do not always satisfy their questions. Because it’s not a question seeking an informational answer. The truth is, medically and existentially, I don’t know. None of us do. The question is an existential itch no medical jargon can scratch.

I have a modern Hippocratic oath tacked to a wall in my room. “I will prevent disease whenever I can, because prevention is preferable to cure,” it says. True, but that offers little solace to those who already have the illness. Yes, we need prevention. And we need a path forward when tragedy has already struck.

I am humbled when I meet a new cancer patient because the visit is a metaphor for a nonjudgmental life. There’s something beautiful about meeting someone exactly where they are, where decisions made in the past are as irrelevant to me now as they were to the cancer.

When they inevitably ask “how did I get this?” and I answer, what I’m really saying is this: I don’t care what you did, or didn’t do, or how we got here. But we are here, and so I am here with you, and from now on the only place we care about is here and now, the only direction forward.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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We are 20 minutes into the visit. My patient is 77 years old, a retired school administrator. She was sent to the oncology clinic for a new diagnosis of lung cancer with metastases to the liver and bones.

I was asking my usual questions – how did this all begin? – and I was hearing the usual answers. The cough that didn’t get better with antibiotics. The unintentional weight loss. The chest x-ray that looked “fuzzy.”

I continue: How many packs of cigarettes a day, and for how many years? Any family history of cancer?

These were my standard questions. They were met by hers: “How did I get this?”

I recently hosted a podcast on common, difficult questions we hear in hematology and oncology. How long do I have to live? What would you do if this were your family member?

This was another. There are variations to be sure. How, why, why me, what did I do, what didn’t I do, did my doctor miss it, if I had this or that test would they have caught it sooner?



When I was an internist, I talked about prevention. Meeting a new patient meant sizing them up for risk factors. In their habits I saw opportunities for healthier choices. In their family histories I gathered warning signs.

Now, I ask the same probing questions, but the purpose is not the same. Smoking, alcohol, family history, I ask these of everyone, I reassure them. It’s no longer about assessing risk. It’s not to place blame. But they read into the fact that I am asking, because they have asked themselves the same.

They ask why.

I try not to overdo the pity. I say that I’m sorry this is happening, but I don’t dwell. What I want to convey is the opposite – it’s normalcy. What I want to convey is: I’ve seen this a million times. This is where we are, and here is where we go. We don’t dwell or regret or wonder what if. My patients don’t want sympathy – at least, not from their doctor. They want a plan.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

They ask: How did I get this?

It’s bad luck, I say. It’s a genetic mutation causing a cell to replicate.

My answers do not always satisfy their questions. Because it’s not a question seeking an informational answer. The truth is, medically and existentially, I don’t know. None of us do. The question is an existential itch no medical jargon can scratch.

I have a modern Hippocratic oath tacked to a wall in my room. “I will prevent disease whenever I can, because prevention is preferable to cure,” it says. True, but that offers little solace to those who already have the illness. Yes, we need prevention. And we need a path forward when tragedy has already struck.

I am humbled when I meet a new cancer patient because the visit is a metaphor for a nonjudgmental life. There’s something beautiful about meeting someone exactly where they are, where decisions made in the past are as irrelevant to me now as they were to the cancer.

When they inevitably ask “how did I get this?” and I answer, what I’m really saying is this: I don’t care what you did, or didn’t do, or how we got here. But we are here, and so I am here with you, and from now on the only place we care about is here and now, the only direction forward.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

We are 20 minutes into the visit. My patient is 77 years old, a retired school administrator. She was sent to the oncology clinic for a new diagnosis of lung cancer with metastases to the liver and bones.

I was asking my usual questions – how did this all begin? – and I was hearing the usual answers. The cough that didn’t get better with antibiotics. The unintentional weight loss. The chest x-ray that looked “fuzzy.”

I continue: How many packs of cigarettes a day, and for how many years? Any family history of cancer?

These were my standard questions. They were met by hers: “How did I get this?”

I recently hosted a podcast on common, difficult questions we hear in hematology and oncology. How long do I have to live? What would you do if this were your family member?

This was another. There are variations to be sure. How, why, why me, what did I do, what didn’t I do, did my doctor miss it, if I had this or that test would they have caught it sooner?



When I was an internist, I talked about prevention. Meeting a new patient meant sizing them up for risk factors. In their habits I saw opportunities for healthier choices. In their family histories I gathered warning signs.

Now, I ask the same probing questions, but the purpose is not the same. Smoking, alcohol, family history, I ask these of everyone, I reassure them. It’s no longer about assessing risk. It’s not to place blame. But they read into the fact that I am asking, because they have asked themselves the same.

They ask why.

I try not to overdo the pity. I say that I’m sorry this is happening, but I don’t dwell. What I want to convey is the opposite – it’s normalcy. What I want to convey is: I’ve seen this a million times. This is where we are, and here is where we go. We don’t dwell or regret or wonder what if. My patients don’t want sympathy – at least, not from their doctor. They want a plan.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

They ask: How did I get this?

It’s bad luck, I say. It’s a genetic mutation causing a cell to replicate.

My answers do not always satisfy their questions. Because it’s not a question seeking an informational answer. The truth is, medically and existentially, I don’t know. None of us do. The question is an existential itch no medical jargon can scratch.

I have a modern Hippocratic oath tacked to a wall in my room. “I will prevent disease whenever I can, because prevention is preferable to cure,” it says. True, but that offers little solace to those who already have the illness. Yes, we need prevention. And we need a path forward when tragedy has already struck.

I am humbled when I meet a new cancer patient because the visit is a metaphor for a nonjudgmental life. There’s something beautiful about meeting someone exactly where they are, where decisions made in the past are as irrelevant to me now as they were to the cancer.

When they inevitably ask “how did I get this?” and I answer, what I’m really saying is this: I don’t care what you did, or didn’t do, or how we got here. But we are here, and so I am here with you, and from now on the only place we care about is here and now, the only direction forward.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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Behind the scenes of a radical new cancer cure

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Mon, 11/04/2019 - 09:03

An unexpected early morning phone call from the hospital is never good news. When Joy Johnson answered, her first thought was that Sharon Birzer, her partner of 15 years, was dead. Her fears were amplified by the voice on the other end refusing to confirm or deny it. Just “come in and talk to one of the doctors,” she remembers the voice saying.

Johnson knew this was a real possibility. A few weeks earlier, she and Birzer sat in the exam room of a lymphoma specialist at Stanford University. Birzer’s cancer had grown, and fast — first during one type of chemotherapy, then through a second. Out of standard options, Birzer’s local oncologist had referred her for a novel treatment called chimeric antigen receptor T-cell therapy — or CAR-T. Birzer and Johnson knew the treatment was risky. They were warned there was a chance of death. There was also a chance of serious complications such as multi-organ failure and neurological impairment. But it was like warning a drowning person that her lifeboat could have problems. Without treatment, the chance of Birzer’s death was all but certain. She signed the consent form.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

Johnson hung up the phone that early morning and sped to the hospital. She met with a doctor and two chaplains in a windowless room in the cancer ward, where happy photos of cancer “alumni” smiled down from the walls. This is getting worse and worse, Johnson thought. As she remembers it, the doctor went through the timeline of what happened for 10 minutes, explaining how Birzer became sicker and sicker, before Johnson interrupted with the thought splitting her world in two: “I need you to tell me whether she’s alive or dead.”

Birzer wasn’t dead. But she was far from okay. The ordeal began with Birzer speaking gibberish. Then came seizures so severe there was concern she wouldn’t be able to breathe on her own. When it took a few different medications to stop Birzer from seizing, her doctors sedated her, put a breathing tube down her throat, and connected her to a ventilator. Now, she was unconscious and in the intensive care unit (ICU).

Birzer was one of the early patients to receive CAR-T, a radical new therapy to treat cancer. It involved removing Birzer’s own blood, filtering for immune cells called T-cells, and genetically engineering those cells to recognize and attack her lymphoma. CAR-T made history in 2017 as the first FDA-approved gene therapy to treat any disease. After three to six months of follow-up, the trials that led to approval showed response rates of 80 percent and above in aggressive leukemias and lymphomas that had resisted chemotherapy. Patients on the brink of death were coming back to life.

This is something I often dream of seeing but rarely do. As a doctor who treats cancer, I think a lot about how to frame new treatments to my patients. I never want to give false hope. But the uncertainty inherent to my field also cautions me against closing the door on optimism prematurely. We take it as a point of pride that no field of medicine evolves as rapidly as cancer — the FDA approves dozens of new treatments a year. One of my biggest challenges is staying up to date on every development and teasing apart what should — and shouldn’t — change my practice. I am often a mediator for my patients, tempering theoretical promises with everyday realism. To accept a research finding into medical practice, I prefer slow steps showing me proof of concept, safety, and efficacy.

CAR-T, nearly three decades in the making, systemically cleared these hurdles. Not only did the product work, its approach was also unique among cancer treatments. Unlike our usual advances, this wasn’t a matter of prescribing an old drug for a new disease or remixing known medications. CAR-T isn’t even a drug. This is a one-time infusion giving a person a better version of her own immune system. When the FDA approved its use, it wasn’t a question of whether my hospital would be involved, but how we could stay ahead. We weren’t alone.

Today, two FDA-approved CAR-T products called Kymriah and Yescarta are available in more than 100 hospitals collectively across the U.S. Hundreds of clinical trials are tinkering with dosages, patient populations, and types of cancer. Some medical centers are manufacturing the cells on-site.

The FDA approved CAR-T with a drug safety program called a Risk Evaluation and Mitigation Strategy (REMS). As I cared for these patients, I quickly realized the FDA’s concerns. Of the 10 or so patients I’ve treated, more than half developed strange neurologic side effects ranging from headaches to difficulty speaking to seizures to falling unconscious. We scrambled to learn how to manage the side effects in real time.

Johnson and Birzer, who I didn’t treat personally but spoke to at length for this essay, understood this better than most. Both had worked in quality control for a blood bank and were medically savvier than the average patient. They accepted a medical system with a learning curve. They were fine with hearing “I don’t know.” Signing up for a trailblazing treatment meant going along for the ride. Twists and bumps were par for the course.


Cancer, by definition, means something has gone very wrong within — a cell has malfunctioned and multiplied. The philosophy for fighting cancer has been, for the most part, creating and bringing in treatments from outside the body. That’s how we got to the most common modern approaches: Chemotherapy (administering drugs to kill cancer), radiation (using high energy beams to kill cancer), and surgery (cutting cancer out with a scalpel and other tools). Next came the genetics revolution, with a focus on creating drugs that target a precise genetic mutation separating a cancer cell from a normal one. But cancers are genetically complex, with legions of mutations and the talent to develop new ones. It’s rare to have that one magic bullet.

Over the last decade or so, our approach shifted. Instead of fighting cancer from the outside, we are increasingly turning in. The human body is already marvelously equipped to recognize and attack invaders, from the common cold to food poisoning, even if the invaders are ones the body has never seen before. Cancer doesn’t belong either. But since cancer cells come from normal ones, they’ve developed clever camouflages to trick and evade the immune system. The 2018 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine was jointly awarded to two researchers for their work in immunotherapy, a class of medications devoted to wiping out the camouflages and restoring the immune system’s upper hand. As I once watched a fellow oncologist describe it to a patient: “I’m not treating you. You are treating you.”

What if we could go one step further? What if we could genetically engineer a patient’s own immune cells to spot and fight cancer, as a sort of “best hits” of genetic therapy and immunotherapy?

 

Enter CAR-T. The technology uses T-cells, which are like the bouncers of the immune system. T-cells survey the body and make sure everything belongs. CAR-T involves removing a person’s T-cells from her blood and using a disarmed virus to deliver new genetic material to the cells. The new genes given to the T-cells help them make two types of proteins. The first — giving the technology its name — is a CAR, which sits on the T-cell’s surface and binds to a protein on the tumor cell’s surface, like a lock and key. The second serves as the T-cell’s caffeine jolt, rousing it to activate. Once the genetic engineering part is done, the T-cells are prodded to multiply by being placed on a rocking device that feeds them nutrients while filtering their wastes. When the cells reach a high enough number — a typical “dose” ranges from hundreds of thousands to hundreds of millions — they are formidable enough to go back into the patient. Once inside, the cancer provokes the new cells to replicate even more. After one week, a typical expansion means multiplying by about another 1,000-fold.

Practically, it looks like this: A person comes in for an appointment. She has a catheter placed in a vein, perhaps in her arm or her chest, that connects to a large, whirring machine which pulls in her blood and separates it into its components. The medical team set the T-cells aside to freeze while the rest of the blood circulates back into the patient in a closed loop. Then, the hospital ships the cells frozen to the relevant pharmaceutical company’s headquarters or transports them to a lab on-site, where thawing and manufacturing takes from a few days to a few weeks. When the cells are ready, the patient undergoes about three days of chemotherapy to kill both cancer and normal cells, making room for the millions of new cells and eradicating normal immune players that could jeopardize their existence. She then gets a day or two to rest. When the new cells are infused back into her blood, we call that Day 0.

 


I remember the first time I watched a patient get his Day 0 infusion. It felt anti-climactic. The entire process took about 15 minutes. The CAR-T cells are invisible to the naked eye, housed in a small plastic bag containing clear liquid.

“That’s it?” my patient asked when the nurse said it was over. The infusion part is easy. The hard part is everything that comes next.

Once the cells are in, they can’t turn off. That this may cause collateral damage was evident from the start. In 2009 — working in parallel with other researchers at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York and the National Cancer Institute in Maryland — oncologists at the University of Pennsylvania opened a clinical trial for CAR-T in human leukemia patients. (Carl June, who led the CAR-T development, did not respond to Undark’s interview request.) Of the first three patients who got CAR-T infusions, two achieved complete remission — but nearly died in the process. The first was a retired corrections officer named Bill Ludwig, who developed extremely high fevers and went into multi-organ failure requiring time in the ICU. At the time, the medical teams had no idea why it was happening or how to stop it. But time passed. Ludwig got better. Then came the truly incredible part: His cancer was gone.

With only philanthropic support, the trial ran out of funding. Of the eligible patients they intended to treat, the Penn doctors only treated three. So they published the results of one patient in the New England Journal of Medicine and presented the outcomes of all three patients, including Ludwig, at a cancer conference anyway. From there, the money poured in. Based on the results, the Swiss pharmaceutical company Novartis licensed the rights of the therapy.

The next year, six-year-old Emily Whitehead was on the brink of death when she became the first child to receive CAR-T. She also became extremely ill in the ICU, and her cancer was also eventually cured. Her media savvy parents helped bring her story public, making her the poster child for CAR-T. In 2014, the FDA granted CAR-T a breakthrough therapy designation to expedite the development of extremely promising therapies. By 2017, a larger trial gave the treatment to 75 children and young adults with a type of leukemia — B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia — that failed to respond to chemotherapy. Eighty-one percent had no sign of cancer after three months.

 

In August 2017, the FDA approved a CAR-T treatment as the first gene therapy in the U.S. The decision was unanimous. The Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee, a branch of the FDA that reviews new cancer products, voted 10 to zero in favor of Kymriah. Committee members called the responses “remarkable” and “potentially paradigm changing.” When the announcement broke, a crowd formed in the medical education center of Penn Medicine, made up of ecstatic faculty and staff. There were banners and T-shirts. “A remarkable thing happened” was the tagline, above a cartoon image of a heroic T-cell. Two months later, in October 2017, the FDA approved a second CAR-T formulation called Yescarta from Kite Pharma, a subsidiary of Gilead Sciences, to treat an aggressive blood cancer in adults called diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, the trial of which had shown a 54 percent complete response rate, meaning all signs of cancer had disappeared. In May 2018, Kymriah was approved to treat adults with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

That year, the American Society of Clinical Oncology named CAR-T the Advance of the Year, beating out immunotherapy, which had won two years in a row. When I attended the last American Society of Hematology meeting in December 2018, CAR-T stole the show. Trying to get into CAR-T talks felt like trying to get a photo with a celebrity. Running five minutes late to one session meant facing closed doors. Others were standing room only. With every slide, it became difficult to see over a sea of smartphones snapping photos. At one session I found a seat next to the oncologist from my hospital who treated Birzer. “Look,” she nudged me. “Do you see all these ‘non-member’ badges?” I turned. Members were doctors like us who treated blood cancers. I couldn’t imagine who else would want to be here. “Who are they?” I asked. “Investors,” she said. It felt obvious the moment she said it.

For patients, the dreaded “c” word is cancer. For oncologists, it’s cure. When patients ask, I’ve noticed how we gently steer the conversation toward safer lingo. We talk about keeping the cancer in check. Cure is a dangerous word, used only when so much time has passed from her cancer diagnosis we can be reasonably certain it’s gone. But that line is arbitrary. We celebrate therapies that add weeks or months because the diseases are pugnacious, the biology diverse, and the threat of relapse looming. Oncologists are a tempered group, or so I’ve learned, finding inspiration in slow, incremental change.

This was completely different. These were patients who would have otherwise died, and the trials were boasting that 54 to 81 percent were cancer-free upon initial follow-up. PET scans showed tumors that had speckled an entire body melt away. Bone marrow biopsies were clear, with even the most sensitive testing unable to detect disease.

The dreaded word was being tossed around — could this be the cure we’ve always wanted?


When a new drug gets FDA approval, it makes its way into clinical practice, swiftly and often with little fanfare. Under the drug safety program REMS, hospitals offering CAR-T were obligated to undergo special training to monitor and manage side effects. As hospitals worked to create CAR-T programs, oncologists like me made the all too familiar transition from first-time user to expert.

It was May 2018 when I rotated through my hospital’s unit and cared for my first patients on CAR-T. As I covered 24-hour shifts, I quickly learned that whether I would sleep that night depended on how many CAR-T patients I was covering. With each treatment, it felt like we were pouring gasoline on the fire of patients’ immune systems. Some developed high fevers and their blood pressures plummeted, mimicking a serious infection. But there was no infection to be found. When resuscitating with fluids couldn’t maintain my patients’ blood pressures, I sent them to the ICU where they required intensive support to supply blood to their critical organs.

We now have a name for this effect — cytokine release syndrome — that occurs in more than half of patients who receive CAR-T, starting with Ludwig and Whitehead. The syndrome is the collateral damage of an immune system on the highest possible alert. This was first seen with other types of immunotherapy, but CAR-T took its severity to a new level. Usually starting the week after CAR-T, cytokine release syndrome can range from simple fevers to multi-organ failure affecting the liver, kidneys, heart, and more. The activated T-cells make and recruit other immune players called cytokines to join in the fight. Cytokines then recruit more immune cells. Unlike in the early trials at Penn, we now have two medicines to dampen the effect. Steroids calm the immune system in general, while a medication called tocilizumab, used to treat autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, blocks cytokines specifically.

Fortuity was behind the idea of tocilizumab: When Emily Whitehead, the first child to receive CAR-T, developed cytokine release syndrome, her medical team noted that her blood contained high levels of a cytokine called interleukin 6. Carl June thought of his own daughter, who had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and was on a new FDA-approved medication that suppressed the same cytokine. The team tried the drug, tocilizumab, in Whitehead. It worked.

Still, we were cautious in our early treatments. The symptoms of cytokine release syndrome mimic the symptoms of severe infection. If this were infection, medicines that dampen a patient’s immune system would be the opposite of what you’d want to give. There was another concern: Would these medications dampen the anti-cancer activity too? We didn’t know. Whenever a CAR-T patient spiked a fever, I struggled with the question — is it cytokine release syndrome, or is it infection? I often played it safe and covered all bases, starting antibiotics and steroids at the same time. It was counterintuitive, like pressing both heat and ice on a strain, or treating a patient simultaneously with fluids and diuretics.

The second side effect was even scarier: Patients stopped talking. Some, like Sharon Birzer spoke gibberish or had violent seizures. Some couldn’t interact at all, unable to follow simple commands like “squeeze my fingers.” How? Why? At hospitals across the nation, perfectly cognitively intact people who had signed up to treat their cancer were unable to ask what was happening.

Our nurses learned to ask a standardized list of questions to catch the effect, which we called neurotoxicity: Where are we? Who is the president? What is 100 minus 10? When the patients scored too low on these quizzes, they called me to the bedside.

 

In turn, I relied heavily on a laminated booklet, made by other doctors who were using CAR-T, which we tacked to a bulletin board in our doctors’ workroom. It contained a short chart noting how to score severity and what to do next. I flipped through the brightly color-coded pages telling me when to order a head CT-scan to look for brain swelling and when to place scalp electrodes looking for seizures. Meanwhile, we formed new channels of communication. As I routinely called a handful of CAR-T specialists at my hospital in the middle of the night, national consortiums formed where specialists around the country shared their experiences. As we tweaked the instructions, we scribbled updates to the booklet in pen.

I wanted to know whether my experience was representative. I came across an abstract and conference talk that explored what happened to 277 patients who received CAR-T in the real world, so I emailed the lead author, Loretta Nastoupil, director of the Department of Lymphoma and Myeloma at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Fortuitously, she was planning a trip to my university to give a talk that month. We met at a café and I asked what her research found. Compared to the earlier trials, the patients were much sicker, she said. Of the 277 patients, more than 40 percent wouldn’t have been eligible for the very trials that got CAR-T approved. Was her team calling other centers for advice? “They were calling us,” she said.

Patients included in clinical trials are carefully selected. They tend not to have other major medical problems, as we want them to survive whatever rigorous new therapy we put them through. Nastoupil admits some of it is arbitrary. Many criteria in the CAR-T trials were based on criteria that had been used in chemotherapy trials. “These become standard languages that apply to all studies,” she said, listing benchmarks like a patient’s age, kidney function, and platelet count. “But we have no idea whether criteria for chemotherapy would apply to cellular therapy.”

Now, with a blanket FDA approval comes clinical judgment. Patients want a chance. Oncologists want to give their patients a chance. Young, old, prior cancer, heart disease, or liver disease — without strict trial criteria, anyone is fair game.

When I was making rounds at my hospital, I never wandered too far from these patients’ rooms, medically prepared for them to crash at any moment. At the same time, early side effects made me optimistic. A bizarre truism in cancer is that side effects may bode well. They could mean the treatment is working. Cancer is usually a waiting game, requiring months to learn an answer. Patients and doctors alike seek clues, but the only real way to know is waiting: Will the next PET scan show anything? What are the biopsy results?

CAR-T was fundamentally different from other cancer treatments in that it worked fast. Birzer’s first clue came just a few hours after her infusion. She developed pain in her lower back. She described it as feeling like she had menstrual cramps. A heavy burden of lymphoma lay in her uterus. Could the pain mean that the CAR-T cells had migrated to the right spot and started to work? Her medical team didn’t know, but the lead doctor’s instinct was that it was a good sign.

Two days later, her temperature shot up to 102. Her blood pressure dropped. The medical team diagnosed cytokine release syndrome, as though right on schedule, and gave her tocilizumab.

Every day, the nurses would ask her questions and have her write simple sentences on a slip of paper to monitor for neurotoxicity. By the fifth day, her answers changed. “She started saying things that were crazy,” Johnson explained.

One of Birzer's sentences was “guinea pigs eat greens like hay and pizza.” Birzer and Johnson owned two guinea pigs, so their diet would be something Birzer normally knew well. So Johnson tried to reason with her: “They don’t eat pizza.” And Birzer replied, “They do eat pizza, but only gluten-free.”

Johnson remembers being struck by the certainty in her partner’s delirium. Not only was Birzer confused, she was confident she was not. “She was doubling down on everything,” Johnson described. “She was absolutely sure she was right.”

Johnson vividly remembers the evening before the frightening early-morning phone call that brought her rushing back to the hospital. Birzer had said there was no point in Johnson staying overnight; she would only watch her be in pain. So Johnson went home. After she did, the doctor came by multiple times to evaluate Birzer. She was deteriorating — and fast. Her speech became more and more garbled. Soon she couldn’t name simple objects and didn’t know where she was. At 3 a.m., the doctor ordered a head CT to make sure Birzer wasn’t bleeding into her brain.

Fortunately, she wasn’t. But by 7 a.m. Birzer stopped speaking altogether. Then she seized. Birzer’s nurse was about to step out of the room when she noticed Birzer’s arms and legs shaking. Her eyes stared vacantly and she wet the bed. The nurse called a code blue, and a team of more doctors and nurses ran over. Birzer was loaded with high-dose anti-seizure medications through her IV. But she continued to seize. As nurses infused more medications into her IV, a doctor placed a breathing tube down her throat.

Birzer’s saga poses the big question: Why does CAR-T cause seizures and other neurologic problems? No one seemed to know. My search of the published scientific literature was thin, but one name kept cropping up. So I called her. Juliane Gust, a pediatric neurologist and scientist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, told me her investigations of how CAR-T affects the brain were motivated by her own experiences. When the early CAR-T trials opened at her hospital in 2014, she and her colleagues began getting calls from oncologists about brain toxicities they knew nothing about. “Where are the papers?” she remembered thinking. “There was nothing.”

 

Typically, the brain is protected by a collection of cells aptly named the blood-brain-barrier. But with severe CAR-T neurotoxicity, research suggests, this defense breaks down. Gust explained that spinal taps on these patients show high levels of cytokines floating in the fluid surrounding the spine and brain. Some CAR-T cells circulate in the fluid too, she said, but these numbers do not correlate with sicker patients. CAR-T cells are even seen in the spinal fluid of patients without any symptoms.

What does this mean? Gust interprets it as a patient’s symptoms having more to do with cytokines than the CAR-T cells. “Cytokine release syndrome is the number one risk factor” for developing neurotoxicity over the next few days, she said. The mainstay for neurotoxicity is starting steroids as soon as possible. “In the beginning we didn’t manage as aggressively. We were worried about impairing the function of the CAR-T,” she added. “Now we give steroids right away.”

But the steroids don’t always work. Several doses of steroids didn’t prevent Birzer from seizing. The morning after Johnson’s alarming phone call, after the meeting at the hospital when she learned what had happened, a chaplain walked her from the conference room to the ICU. The first day, Johnson sat by her partner’s bedside while Birzer remained unconscious. By the next evening, she woke up enough to breathe on her own. The doctors removed her breathing tube, and Birzer looked around. She had no idea who she was or where she was.

Birzer was like a newborn baby, confused and sometimes frightened by her surroundings. She frequently looked like she was about to say something, but she couldn’t find the words despite the nurses and Johnson’s encouragement. One day she spoke a few words. Eventually she learned her name. A few days later she recognized Johnson. Her life was coming back to her, though she was still suspicious of her reality. She accused the nurses of tricking her, for instance, when they told her Donald Trump was president.

She took cues from the adults around her on whether her actions were appropriate. The best example of this was her “I love you” phase. One day, she said it to Johnson in the hospital. A few nurses overheard it and commented on how sweet it was. Birzer was pleased with the reaction. So she turned to the nurse: “I love you!” And the person emptying the trash: “I love you!” Months later, she was having lunch with a friend who asked, “Do you remember when you told me you loved me?” Birzer said, “Well, I stand by that one.”

When she got home, she needed a walker to help with her shakiness on her feet. When recounting her everyday interactions, she would swap in the wrong people, substituting a friend for someone else. She saw bugs that didn’t exist. She couldn’t hold a spoon or a cup steady. Johnson would try to slow her down, but Birzer was adamant she could eat and drink without help. “Then peas would fly in my face,” Johnson said.

Patients who experience neurotoxicity fall into one of three categories. The majority are impaired but then return to normal without long-term damage. A devastating handful, less than 1 percent, develop severe brain swelling and die. The rest fall into a minority that have lingering problems even months out. These are usually struggles to think up the right word, trouble concentrating, and weakness, often requiring long courses of rehabilitation and extra help at home.

 

As Birzer told me about her months of rehab, I thought how she did seem to fall somewhere in the middle among the patients I’ve treated. On one end of the spectrum was the rancher who remained profoundly weak a year after his infusion. Before CAR-T, he walked across his ranch without issue; six months later, he needed a walker. Even with it, he fell on a near weekly basis. On the other end was the retired teacher who couldn’t speak for a week – she would look around her ICU room and move her mouth as though trying her hardest — and then woke up as though nothing happened. She left the hospital and instantly resumed her life, which included a recent trip across the country. In hindsight, I remember how we worried more about giving the therapy to the teacher than the rancher, as she seemed frailer. Outcomes like theirs leave me with a familiar humility I keep learning in new ways as a doctor: We often can’t predict how a patient will do. Our instincts can be just plain wrong.

I asked Gust if we have data to predict who will land in which group. While we can point to some risk factors — higher burdens of cancer, baseline cognitive problems before therapy — “the individual patient tells you nothing,” she confirmed.

So we wait.


Doctors like me who specialize in cancer regularly field heart-wrenching questions from patients. They have read about CAR-T in the news, and now they want to know: What about me? What about my cancer?

So, who gets CAR-T? That leads to the tougher question — who doesn’t? That depends on the type of cancer and whether their insurance can pay.

CAR-T is approved to treat certain leukemias and lymphomas that come from the blood and bone marrow. Since the initial approval, researchers have also set up new CAR-T trials for all sorts of solid tumors from lung cancer to kidney cancer to sarcoma. But progress has been slow. While some promising findings are coming from the lab and in small numbers of patients on early phase trials, nothing is yet approved in humans. The remarkable responses occurring in blood cancers just weren’t happening in solid tumors.

Cancer is one word, but it’s not one disease. “It’s easier to prove why something works when it works than show why it doesn’t work when it doesn’t work,” said Saar Gill, a hematologist and scientist at the University of Pennsylvania who co-founded a company called Carisma Therapeutics using CAR-T technology against solid tumors. That was his short answer, at least. The longer answer to why CAR-T hasn’t worked in solid cancers involves what Gill believes are two main barriers. First, it’s a trafficking problem. Leukemia cells tend to be easier targets; they bob through the bloodstream like buoys in an ocean. Solid tumors are more like trash islands. The cancer cells stick together and grow an assortment of supporting structures to hold the mound together. The first problem for CAR-T is that the T-cells may not be able to penetrate the islands. Then, even if the T-cells make it in, they’re faced with a hostile environment and will likely die before they can work.

At Carisma, Gill and his colleagues look to get around these obstacles though a different immune cell called the macrophage. T-cells are not the only players of the immune system, after all. Macrophages are gluttonous cells that recognize invaders and engulf them for destruction. But studies have shown they cluster in solid tumors in a way T-cells don’t. Gill hopes genetically engineered macrophages can be the stowaways that sneak into solid tumor and attack from the inside out.

 

Another big challenge, even for leukemias and lymphomas, is resistance, where the cancers learn to survive the CAR-T infusion. While many patients in the trials achieved remission after a month, we now have two years’ worth of data and the outlook isn’t as rosy. For lymphoma, that number is closer to 40 percent. Patients celebrating cures initially are relapsing later. Why?

The CAR-T cells we use target a specific protein on cancer cells. But if the cancer no longer expresses that protein, that can be a big problem, and we’re finding that’s exactly what’s happening. Through blood testing, we see that many patients who relapse lose the target.

Researchers are trying to regain the upper hand by designing CAR-Ts to target more than one receptor. It’s an old idea in a new frame: An arms race between our medicines and the illnesses that can evolve to evade them. Too much medical precision in these cases is actually not what we want, as it makes it easier for cancer to pinpoint what’s after it and develop an escape route. So, the reasoning goes, target multiple pieces at once. Confuse the cancer.

Then there’s the other dreaded “c” word: Cost. Novartis’ Kymriah runs up to $475,000 while Kite Pharma’s Yescarta is $373,000. That covers manufacturing and infusion. Not included is the minimum one-week hospital stay or any complications.

They are daunting numbers. Some limitations on health care we accept — maybe the patients are too sick; maybe they have the wrong disease. The wrong cost is not one we as a society look kindly upon. And drug companies shy away from that kind of attention.

Cost origins in medicine are notoriously murky. Novartis, confident in its technology, made an offer to offset the scrutiny in CAR-T. If the treatment didn’t work after one month, the company said it wouldn’t send a bill.

Not everyone agrees that cost is an issue. Gill, for example, believes the concern is over-hyped. It’s not “a major issue,” he told me over the phone. “Look, of course — [with] health care in this country, if you don’t have insurance, then you’re screwed. That is no different when it comes to CAR-T as it is for anything else,” he said. The cost conversation must also put CAR-T in context. Gill went on to list what these patients would be doing otherwise — months of chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, hospital stays for cancer-associated complications and the associated loss of income as patients and caregivers miss work. These could add up to far more than a one-time CAR-T infusion. A bone marrow transplant, for example, can cost from $100,000 to more than $300,000. The cancer-fighting drug blinatumomab, also used to treat relapsed leukemia, costs $178,000 a year. “Any discussion of cost is completely irresponsible without weighing the other side of the equation,” Gill said.

How the system will get on board is another question. Logistics will be an issue, Gill conceded. The first national Medicare policy for covering CAR-T was announced in August 2019, two years after the first product was approved. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has offered to reimburse a set rate for CAR T-cell infusion, and while this figure was recently raised, it remains less than the total cost. Despite the expansion of medical uses, at some centers referrals for CAR-T are dropping as hospitals worry it’s a net loss. And while most commercial insurers are covering CAR-T therapies, companies less accustomed to handling complex therapies can postpone approval. Ironically, the patients considering CAR-T are the ones for whom the window for treatment is narrowest. A delay of even a few weeks can mean the difference between a cure and hospice.

This, of course, poses a big problem. A breakthrough technology is only as good as its access. A major selling point of CAR-T — besides the efficacy — is its ease. It’s a one-and-done treatment. Engineered T-cells are intended to live indefinitely, constantly on the alert if cancer tries to come back. Compare that to chemotherapy or immunotherapy, which is months of infusions or a pill taken indefinitely. CAR-T is more akin to surgery: Cut it out, pay the entire cost upfront, and you’re done.

Birzer was lucky in this respect. I asked her and Johnson if cost had factored into their decision to try CAR-T. They looked at each other. “It wasn’t an issue,” said Johnson. They remembered getting a statement in the mail for a large sum when they got home. But Birzer had good insurance. She didn’t pay a cent.


One year after Birzer’s infusion, I met her and Johnson at a coffee shop near their home in San Francisco. They had saved a table. Johnson had a newspaper open. Birzer already had her coffee, and I noticed her hand trembling as she brought it to her mouth. She described how she still struggles to find exactly the right words. She sometimes flings peas. But she’s mostly back to normal, living her everyday life. She has even returned to her passion, performing stand-up comedy, though she admitted that at least for general audiences: “My jokes about cancer didn’t kill.”

People handed a devastating diagnosis don’t spend most of their time dying. They are living, but with a heightened awareness for a timeline the rest of us take for granted. They sip coffee, enjoy their hobbies, and read the news while also getting their affairs in order and staying on the lookout, constantly, for the next treatment that could save them.

Hoping for a miracle while preparing to die are mutually compatible ideas. Many of my patients have become accustomed to living somewhere in that limbo. It is humbling to witness. They hold out hope for a plan A, however unlikely it may be, while also adjusting to the reality of a plan B. They live their lives; and they live in uncertainty.

I see patients in various stages of this limbo. In clinic, I met a man with multiple myeloma six months after a CAR-T trial that supposedly cured him. He came in with a big smile but then quietly began praying when it was time to view PET results. He asked how the other patients on the trial were doing, and I shared the stats. While percentages don’t say anything about an individual experience, they’re also all patients have to go on. When someone on the same treatment dies, it’s shattering for everyone. Was one person the exception, or a harbinger another’s fate? Who is the outlier?

I look at these patients and think a sober truth: Before CAR-T, all would likely die within six months. Now, imagine taking 40 percent and curing them. Sure, a naysayer might point out, it’s only 40 percent. What’s the hype if most still succumb to their cancer? But there was nothing close to that before CAR-T. I agree with how Gill described it: “I think CAR-T cells are like chemotherapy in the 1950s. They’re not better than chemotherapy — they’re just different.” For an adversary as tough as cancer, we’ll take any tool we can get.

There remain many questions. Can we use CAR-T earlier in a cancer’s course? Lessen the side effects? Overcome resistance? Streamline manufacturing and reimbursement? Will it work in other cancers? Patients will sign up to answer.

For now, Birzer seems to be in the lucky 40 percent. Her one-year PET scan showed no cancer. I thought of our last coffee meeting, where I had asked if she ever worried she wouldn’t return to normal. She didn’t even pause. “If you’re not dead,” she said, “you’re winning.”


Ilana Yurkiewicz, M.D., is a physician at Stanford University and a medical journalist. She is a former Scientific American Blog Network columnist and AAAS Mass Media Fellow. Her writing has also appeared in Aeon Magazine, Health Affairs, and STAT News, and has been featured in "The Best American Science and Nature Writing."

This article was originally published on Undark. Read the original article.

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An unexpected early morning phone call from the hospital is never good news. When Joy Johnson answered, her first thought was that Sharon Birzer, her partner of 15 years, was dead. Her fears were amplified by the voice on the other end refusing to confirm or deny it. Just “come in and talk to one of the doctors,” she remembers the voice saying.

Johnson knew this was a real possibility. A few weeks earlier, she and Birzer sat in the exam room of a lymphoma specialist at Stanford University. Birzer’s cancer had grown, and fast — first during one type of chemotherapy, then through a second. Out of standard options, Birzer’s local oncologist had referred her for a novel treatment called chimeric antigen receptor T-cell therapy — or CAR-T. Birzer and Johnson knew the treatment was risky. They were warned there was a chance of death. There was also a chance of serious complications such as multi-organ failure and neurological impairment. But it was like warning a drowning person that her lifeboat could have problems. Without treatment, the chance of Birzer’s death was all but certain. She signed the consent form.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

Johnson hung up the phone that early morning and sped to the hospital. She met with a doctor and two chaplains in a windowless room in the cancer ward, where happy photos of cancer “alumni” smiled down from the walls. This is getting worse and worse, Johnson thought. As she remembers it, the doctor went through the timeline of what happened for 10 minutes, explaining how Birzer became sicker and sicker, before Johnson interrupted with the thought splitting her world in two: “I need you to tell me whether she’s alive or dead.”

Birzer wasn’t dead. But she was far from okay. The ordeal began with Birzer speaking gibberish. Then came seizures so severe there was concern she wouldn’t be able to breathe on her own. When it took a few different medications to stop Birzer from seizing, her doctors sedated her, put a breathing tube down her throat, and connected her to a ventilator. Now, she was unconscious and in the intensive care unit (ICU).

Birzer was one of the early patients to receive CAR-T, a radical new therapy to treat cancer. It involved removing Birzer’s own blood, filtering for immune cells called T-cells, and genetically engineering those cells to recognize and attack her lymphoma. CAR-T made history in 2017 as the first FDA-approved gene therapy to treat any disease. After three to six months of follow-up, the trials that led to approval showed response rates of 80 percent and above in aggressive leukemias and lymphomas that had resisted chemotherapy. Patients on the brink of death were coming back to life.

This is something I often dream of seeing but rarely do. As a doctor who treats cancer, I think a lot about how to frame new treatments to my patients. I never want to give false hope. But the uncertainty inherent to my field also cautions me against closing the door on optimism prematurely. We take it as a point of pride that no field of medicine evolves as rapidly as cancer — the FDA approves dozens of new treatments a year. One of my biggest challenges is staying up to date on every development and teasing apart what should — and shouldn’t — change my practice. I am often a mediator for my patients, tempering theoretical promises with everyday realism. To accept a research finding into medical practice, I prefer slow steps showing me proof of concept, safety, and efficacy.

CAR-T, nearly three decades in the making, systemically cleared these hurdles. Not only did the product work, its approach was also unique among cancer treatments. Unlike our usual advances, this wasn’t a matter of prescribing an old drug for a new disease or remixing known medications. CAR-T isn’t even a drug. This is a one-time infusion giving a person a better version of her own immune system. When the FDA approved its use, it wasn’t a question of whether my hospital would be involved, but how we could stay ahead. We weren’t alone.

Today, two FDA-approved CAR-T products called Kymriah and Yescarta are available in more than 100 hospitals collectively across the U.S. Hundreds of clinical trials are tinkering with dosages, patient populations, and types of cancer. Some medical centers are manufacturing the cells on-site.

The FDA approved CAR-T with a drug safety program called a Risk Evaluation and Mitigation Strategy (REMS). As I cared for these patients, I quickly realized the FDA’s concerns. Of the 10 or so patients I’ve treated, more than half developed strange neurologic side effects ranging from headaches to difficulty speaking to seizures to falling unconscious. We scrambled to learn how to manage the side effects in real time.

Johnson and Birzer, who I didn’t treat personally but spoke to at length for this essay, understood this better than most. Both had worked in quality control for a blood bank and were medically savvier than the average patient. They accepted a medical system with a learning curve. They were fine with hearing “I don’t know.” Signing up for a trailblazing treatment meant going along for the ride. Twists and bumps were par for the course.


Cancer, by definition, means something has gone very wrong within — a cell has malfunctioned and multiplied. The philosophy for fighting cancer has been, for the most part, creating and bringing in treatments from outside the body. That’s how we got to the most common modern approaches: Chemotherapy (administering drugs to kill cancer), radiation (using high energy beams to kill cancer), and surgery (cutting cancer out with a scalpel and other tools). Next came the genetics revolution, with a focus on creating drugs that target a precise genetic mutation separating a cancer cell from a normal one. But cancers are genetically complex, with legions of mutations and the talent to develop new ones. It’s rare to have that one magic bullet.

Over the last decade or so, our approach shifted. Instead of fighting cancer from the outside, we are increasingly turning in. The human body is already marvelously equipped to recognize and attack invaders, from the common cold to food poisoning, even if the invaders are ones the body has never seen before. Cancer doesn’t belong either. But since cancer cells come from normal ones, they’ve developed clever camouflages to trick and evade the immune system. The 2018 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine was jointly awarded to two researchers for their work in immunotherapy, a class of medications devoted to wiping out the camouflages and restoring the immune system’s upper hand. As I once watched a fellow oncologist describe it to a patient: “I’m not treating you. You are treating you.”

What if we could go one step further? What if we could genetically engineer a patient’s own immune cells to spot and fight cancer, as a sort of “best hits” of genetic therapy and immunotherapy?

 

Enter CAR-T. The technology uses T-cells, which are like the bouncers of the immune system. T-cells survey the body and make sure everything belongs. CAR-T involves removing a person’s T-cells from her blood and using a disarmed virus to deliver new genetic material to the cells. The new genes given to the T-cells help them make two types of proteins. The first — giving the technology its name — is a CAR, which sits on the T-cell’s surface and binds to a protein on the tumor cell’s surface, like a lock and key. The second serves as the T-cell’s caffeine jolt, rousing it to activate. Once the genetic engineering part is done, the T-cells are prodded to multiply by being placed on a rocking device that feeds them nutrients while filtering their wastes. When the cells reach a high enough number — a typical “dose” ranges from hundreds of thousands to hundreds of millions — they are formidable enough to go back into the patient. Once inside, the cancer provokes the new cells to replicate even more. After one week, a typical expansion means multiplying by about another 1,000-fold.

Practically, it looks like this: A person comes in for an appointment. She has a catheter placed in a vein, perhaps in her arm or her chest, that connects to a large, whirring machine which pulls in her blood and separates it into its components. The medical team set the T-cells aside to freeze while the rest of the blood circulates back into the patient in a closed loop. Then, the hospital ships the cells frozen to the relevant pharmaceutical company’s headquarters or transports them to a lab on-site, where thawing and manufacturing takes from a few days to a few weeks. When the cells are ready, the patient undergoes about three days of chemotherapy to kill both cancer and normal cells, making room for the millions of new cells and eradicating normal immune players that could jeopardize their existence. She then gets a day or two to rest. When the new cells are infused back into her blood, we call that Day 0.

 


I remember the first time I watched a patient get his Day 0 infusion. It felt anti-climactic. The entire process took about 15 minutes. The CAR-T cells are invisible to the naked eye, housed in a small plastic bag containing clear liquid.

“That’s it?” my patient asked when the nurse said it was over. The infusion part is easy. The hard part is everything that comes next.

Once the cells are in, they can’t turn off. That this may cause collateral damage was evident from the start. In 2009 — working in parallel with other researchers at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York and the National Cancer Institute in Maryland — oncologists at the University of Pennsylvania opened a clinical trial for CAR-T in human leukemia patients. (Carl June, who led the CAR-T development, did not respond to Undark’s interview request.) Of the first three patients who got CAR-T infusions, two achieved complete remission — but nearly died in the process. The first was a retired corrections officer named Bill Ludwig, who developed extremely high fevers and went into multi-organ failure requiring time in the ICU. At the time, the medical teams had no idea why it was happening or how to stop it. But time passed. Ludwig got better. Then came the truly incredible part: His cancer was gone.

With only philanthropic support, the trial ran out of funding. Of the eligible patients they intended to treat, the Penn doctors only treated three. So they published the results of one patient in the New England Journal of Medicine and presented the outcomes of all three patients, including Ludwig, at a cancer conference anyway. From there, the money poured in. Based on the results, the Swiss pharmaceutical company Novartis licensed the rights of the therapy.

The next year, six-year-old Emily Whitehead was on the brink of death when she became the first child to receive CAR-T. She also became extremely ill in the ICU, and her cancer was also eventually cured. Her media savvy parents helped bring her story public, making her the poster child for CAR-T. In 2014, the FDA granted CAR-T a breakthrough therapy designation to expedite the development of extremely promising therapies. By 2017, a larger trial gave the treatment to 75 children and young adults with a type of leukemia — B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia — that failed to respond to chemotherapy. Eighty-one percent had no sign of cancer after three months.

 

In August 2017, the FDA approved a CAR-T treatment as the first gene therapy in the U.S. The decision was unanimous. The Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee, a branch of the FDA that reviews new cancer products, voted 10 to zero in favor of Kymriah. Committee members called the responses “remarkable” and “potentially paradigm changing.” When the announcement broke, a crowd formed in the medical education center of Penn Medicine, made up of ecstatic faculty and staff. There were banners and T-shirts. “A remarkable thing happened” was the tagline, above a cartoon image of a heroic T-cell. Two months later, in October 2017, the FDA approved a second CAR-T formulation called Yescarta from Kite Pharma, a subsidiary of Gilead Sciences, to treat an aggressive blood cancer in adults called diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, the trial of which had shown a 54 percent complete response rate, meaning all signs of cancer had disappeared. In May 2018, Kymriah was approved to treat adults with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

That year, the American Society of Clinical Oncology named CAR-T the Advance of the Year, beating out immunotherapy, which had won two years in a row. When I attended the last American Society of Hematology meeting in December 2018, CAR-T stole the show. Trying to get into CAR-T talks felt like trying to get a photo with a celebrity. Running five minutes late to one session meant facing closed doors. Others were standing room only. With every slide, it became difficult to see over a sea of smartphones snapping photos. At one session I found a seat next to the oncologist from my hospital who treated Birzer. “Look,” she nudged me. “Do you see all these ‘non-member’ badges?” I turned. Members were doctors like us who treated blood cancers. I couldn’t imagine who else would want to be here. “Who are they?” I asked. “Investors,” she said. It felt obvious the moment she said it.

For patients, the dreaded “c” word is cancer. For oncologists, it’s cure. When patients ask, I’ve noticed how we gently steer the conversation toward safer lingo. We talk about keeping the cancer in check. Cure is a dangerous word, used only when so much time has passed from her cancer diagnosis we can be reasonably certain it’s gone. But that line is arbitrary. We celebrate therapies that add weeks or months because the diseases are pugnacious, the biology diverse, and the threat of relapse looming. Oncologists are a tempered group, or so I’ve learned, finding inspiration in slow, incremental change.

This was completely different. These were patients who would have otherwise died, and the trials were boasting that 54 to 81 percent were cancer-free upon initial follow-up. PET scans showed tumors that had speckled an entire body melt away. Bone marrow biopsies were clear, with even the most sensitive testing unable to detect disease.

The dreaded word was being tossed around — could this be the cure we’ve always wanted?


When a new drug gets FDA approval, it makes its way into clinical practice, swiftly and often with little fanfare. Under the drug safety program REMS, hospitals offering CAR-T were obligated to undergo special training to monitor and manage side effects. As hospitals worked to create CAR-T programs, oncologists like me made the all too familiar transition from first-time user to expert.

It was May 2018 when I rotated through my hospital’s unit and cared for my first patients on CAR-T. As I covered 24-hour shifts, I quickly learned that whether I would sleep that night depended on how many CAR-T patients I was covering. With each treatment, it felt like we were pouring gasoline on the fire of patients’ immune systems. Some developed high fevers and their blood pressures plummeted, mimicking a serious infection. But there was no infection to be found. When resuscitating with fluids couldn’t maintain my patients’ blood pressures, I sent them to the ICU where they required intensive support to supply blood to their critical organs.

We now have a name for this effect — cytokine release syndrome — that occurs in more than half of patients who receive CAR-T, starting with Ludwig and Whitehead. The syndrome is the collateral damage of an immune system on the highest possible alert. This was first seen with other types of immunotherapy, but CAR-T took its severity to a new level. Usually starting the week after CAR-T, cytokine release syndrome can range from simple fevers to multi-organ failure affecting the liver, kidneys, heart, and more. The activated T-cells make and recruit other immune players called cytokines to join in the fight. Cytokines then recruit more immune cells. Unlike in the early trials at Penn, we now have two medicines to dampen the effect. Steroids calm the immune system in general, while a medication called tocilizumab, used to treat autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, blocks cytokines specifically.

Fortuity was behind the idea of tocilizumab: When Emily Whitehead, the first child to receive CAR-T, developed cytokine release syndrome, her medical team noted that her blood contained high levels of a cytokine called interleukin 6. Carl June thought of his own daughter, who had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and was on a new FDA-approved medication that suppressed the same cytokine. The team tried the drug, tocilizumab, in Whitehead. It worked.

Still, we were cautious in our early treatments. The symptoms of cytokine release syndrome mimic the symptoms of severe infection. If this were infection, medicines that dampen a patient’s immune system would be the opposite of what you’d want to give. There was another concern: Would these medications dampen the anti-cancer activity too? We didn’t know. Whenever a CAR-T patient spiked a fever, I struggled with the question — is it cytokine release syndrome, or is it infection? I often played it safe and covered all bases, starting antibiotics and steroids at the same time. It was counterintuitive, like pressing both heat and ice on a strain, or treating a patient simultaneously with fluids and diuretics.

The second side effect was even scarier: Patients stopped talking. Some, like Sharon Birzer spoke gibberish or had violent seizures. Some couldn’t interact at all, unable to follow simple commands like “squeeze my fingers.” How? Why? At hospitals across the nation, perfectly cognitively intact people who had signed up to treat their cancer were unable to ask what was happening.

Our nurses learned to ask a standardized list of questions to catch the effect, which we called neurotoxicity: Where are we? Who is the president? What is 100 minus 10? When the patients scored too low on these quizzes, they called me to the bedside.

 

In turn, I relied heavily on a laminated booklet, made by other doctors who were using CAR-T, which we tacked to a bulletin board in our doctors’ workroom. It contained a short chart noting how to score severity and what to do next. I flipped through the brightly color-coded pages telling me when to order a head CT-scan to look for brain swelling and when to place scalp electrodes looking for seizures. Meanwhile, we formed new channels of communication. As I routinely called a handful of CAR-T specialists at my hospital in the middle of the night, national consortiums formed where specialists around the country shared their experiences. As we tweaked the instructions, we scribbled updates to the booklet in pen.

I wanted to know whether my experience was representative. I came across an abstract and conference talk that explored what happened to 277 patients who received CAR-T in the real world, so I emailed the lead author, Loretta Nastoupil, director of the Department of Lymphoma and Myeloma at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Fortuitously, she was planning a trip to my university to give a talk that month. We met at a café and I asked what her research found. Compared to the earlier trials, the patients were much sicker, she said. Of the 277 patients, more than 40 percent wouldn’t have been eligible for the very trials that got CAR-T approved. Was her team calling other centers for advice? “They were calling us,” she said.

Patients included in clinical trials are carefully selected. They tend not to have other major medical problems, as we want them to survive whatever rigorous new therapy we put them through. Nastoupil admits some of it is arbitrary. Many criteria in the CAR-T trials were based on criteria that had been used in chemotherapy trials. “These become standard languages that apply to all studies,” she said, listing benchmarks like a patient’s age, kidney function, and platelet count. “But we have no idea whether criteria for chemotherapy would apply to cellular therapy.”

Now, with a blanket FDA approval comes clinical judgment. Patients want a chance. Oncologists want to give their patients a chance. Young, old, prior cancer, heart disease, or liver disease — without strict trial criteria, anyone is fair game.

When I was making rounds at my hospital, I never wandered too far from these patients’ rooms, medically prepared for them to crash at any moment. At the same time, early side effects made me optimistic. A bizarre truism in cancer is that side effects may bode well. They could mean the treatment is working. Cancer is usually a waiting game, requiring months to learn an answer. Patients and doctors alike seek clues, but the only real way to know is waiting: Will the next PET scan show anything? What are the biopsy results?

CAR-T was fundamentally different from other cancer treatments in that it worked fast. Birzer’s first clue came just a few hours after her infusion. She developed pain in her lower back. She described it as feeling like she had menstrual cramps. A heavy burden of lymphoma lay in her uterus. Could the pain mean that the CAR-T cells had migrated to the right spot and started to work? Her medical team didn’t know, but the lead doctor’s instinct was that it was a good sign.

Two days later, her temperature shot up to 102. Her blood pressure dropped. The medical team diagnosed cytokine release syndrome, as though right on schedule, and gave her tocilizumab.

Every day, the nurses would ask her questions and have her write simple sentences on a slip of paper to monitor for neurotoxicity. By the fifth day, her answers changed. “She started saying things that were crazy,” Johnson explained.

One of Birzer's sentences was “guinea pigs eat greens like hay and pizza.” Birzer and Johnson owned two guinea pigs, so their diet would be something Birzer normally knew well. So Johnson tried to reason with her: “They don’t eat pizza.” And Birzer replied, “They do eat pizza, but only gluten-free.”

Johnson remembers being struck by the certainty in her partner’s delirium. Not only was Birzer confused, she was confident she was not. “She was doubling down on everything,” Johnson described. “She was absolutely sure she was right.”

Johnson vividly remembers the evening before the frightening early-morning phone call that brought her rushing back to the hospital. Birzer had said there was no point in Johnson staying overnight; she would only watch her be in pain. So Johnson went home. After she did, the doctor came by multiple times to evaluate Birzer. She was deteriorating — and fast. Her speech became more and more garbled. Soon she couldn’t name simple objects and didn’t know where she was. At 3 a.m., the doctor ordered a head CT to make sure Birzer wasn’t bleeding into her brain.

Fortunately, she wasn’t. But by 7 a.m. Birzer stopped speaking altogether. Then she seized. Birzer’s nurse was about to step out of the room when she noticed Birzer’s arms and legs shaking. Her eyes stared vacantly and she wet the bed. The nurse called a code blue, and a team of more doctors and nurses ran over. Birzer was loaded with high-dose anti-seizure medications through her IV. But she continued to seize. As nurses infused more medications into her IV, a doctor placed a breathing tube down her throat.

Birzer’s saga poses the big question: Why does CAR-T cause seizures and other neurologic problems? No one seemed to know. My search of the published scientific literature was thin, but one name kept cropping up. So I called her. Juliane Gust, a pediatric neurologist and scientist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, told me her investigations of how CAR-T affects the brain were motivated by her own experiences. When the early CAR-T trials opened at her hospital in 2014, she and her colleagues began getting calls from oncologists about brain toxicities they knew nothing about. “Where are the papers?” she remembered thinking. “There was nothing.”

 

Typically, the brain is protected by a collection of cells aptly named the blood-brain-barrier. But with severe CAR-T neurotoxicity, research suggests, this defense breaks down. Gust explained that spinal taps on these patients show high levels of cytokines floating in the fluid surrounding the spine and brain. Some CAR-T cells circulate in the fluid too, she said, but these numbers do not correlate with sicker patients. CAR-T cells are even seen in the spinal fluid of patients without any symptoms.

What does this mean? Gust interprets it as a patient’s symptoms having more to do with cytokines than the CAR-T cells. “Cytokine release syndrome is the number one risk factor” for developing neurotoxicity over the next few days, she said. The mainstay for neurotoxicity is starting steroids as soon as possible. “In the beginning we didn’t manage as aggressively. We were worried about impairing the function of the CAR-T,” she added. “Now we give steroids right away.”

But the steroids don’t always work. Several doses of steroids didn’t prevent Birzer from seizing. The morning after Johnson’s alarming phone call, after the meeting at the hospital when she learned what had happened, a chaplain walked her from the conference room to the ICU. The first day, Johnson sat by her partner’s bedside while Birzer remained unconscious. By the next evening, she woke up enough to breathe on her own. The doctors removed her breathing tube, and Birzer looked around. She had no idea who she was or where she was.

Birzer was like a newborn baby, confused and sometimes frightened by her surroundings. She frequently looked like she was about to say something, but she couldn’t find the words despite the nurses and Johnson’s encouragement. One day she spoke a few words. Eventually she learned her name. A few days later she recognized Johnson. Her life was coming back to her, though she was still suspicious of her reality. She accused the nurses of tricking her, for instance, when they told her Donald Trump was president.

She took cues from the adults around her on whether her actions were appropriate. The best example of this was her “I love you” phase. One day, she said it to Johnson in the hospital. A few nurses overheard it and commented on how sweet it was. Birzer was pleased with the reaction. So she turned to the nurse: “I love you!” And the person emptying the trash: “I love you!” Months later, she was having lunch with a friend who asked, “Do you remember when you told me you loved me?” Birzer said, “Well, I stand by that one.”

When she got home, she needed a walker to help with her shakiness on her feet. When recounting her everyday interactions, she would swap in the wrong people, substituting a friend for someone else. She saw bugs that didn’t exist. She couldn’t hold a spoon or a cup steady. Johnson would try to slow her down, but Birzer was adamant she could eat and drink without help. “Then peas would fly in my face,” Johnson said.

Patients who experience neurotoxicity fall into one of three categories. The majority are impaired but then return to normal without long-term damage. A devastating handful, less than 1 percent, develop severe brain swelling and die. The rest fall into a minority that have lingering problems even months out. These are usually struggles to think up the right word, trouble concentrating, and weakness, often requiring long courses of rehabilitation and extra help at home.

 

As Birzer told me about her months of rehab, I thought how she did seem to fall somewhere in the middle among the patients I’ve treated. On one end of the spectrum was the rancher who remained profoundly weak a year after his infusion. Before CAR-T, he walked across his ranch without issue; six months later, he needed a walker. Even with it, he fell on a near weekly basis. On the other end was the retired teacher who couldn’t speak for a week – she would look around her ICU room and move her mouth as though trying her hardest — and then woke up as though nothing happened. She left the hospital and instantly resumed her life, which included a recent trip across the country. In hindsight, I remember how we worried more about giving the therapy to the teacher than the rancher, as she seemed frailer. Outcomes like theirs leave me with a familiar humility I keep learning in new ways as a doctor: We often can’t predict how a patient will do. Our instincts can be just plain wrong.

I asked Gust if we have data to predict who will land in which group. While we can point to some risk factors — higher burdens of cancer, baseline cognitive problems before therapy — “the individual patient tells you nothing,” she confirmed.

So we wait.


Doctors like me who specialize in cancer regularly field heart-wrenching questions from patients. They have read about CAR-T in the news, and now they want to know: What about me? What about my cancer?

So, who gets CAR-T? That leads to the tougher question — who doesn’t? That depends on the type of cancer and whether their insurance can pay.

CAR-T is approved to treat certain leukemias and lymphomas that come from the blood and bone marrow. Since the initial approval, researchers have also set up new CAR-T trials for all sorts of solid tumors from lung cancer to kidney cancer to sarcoma. But progress has been slow. While some promising findings are coming from the lab and in small numbers of patients on early phase trials, nothing is yet approved in humans. The remarkable responses occurring in blood cancers just weren’t happening in solid tumors.

Cancer is one word, but it’s not one disease. “It’s easier to prove why something works when it works than show why it doesn’t work when it doesn’t work,” said Saar Gill, a hematologist and scientist at the University of Pennsylvania who co-founded a company called Carisma Therapeutics using CAR-T technology against solid tumors. That was his short answer, at least. The longer answer to why CAR-T hasn’t worked in solid cancers involves what Gill believes are two main barriers. First, it’s a trafficking problem. Leukemia cells tend to be easier targets; they bob through the bloodstream like buoys in an ocean. Solid tumors are more like trash islands. The cancer cells stick together and grow an assortment of supporting structures to hold the mound together. The first problem for CAR-T is that the T-cells may not be able to penetrate the islands. Then, even if the T-cells make it in, they’re faced with a hostile environment and will likely die before they can work.

At Carisma, Gill and his colleagues look to get around these obstacles though a different immune cell called the macrophage. T-cells are not the only players of the immune system, after all. Macrophages are gluttonous cells that recognize invaders and engulf them for destruction. But studies have shown they cluster in solid tumors in a way T-cells don’t. Gill hopes genetically engineered macrophages can be the stowaways that sneak into solid tumor and attack from the inside out.

 

Another big challenge, even for leukemias and lymphomas, is resistance, where the cancers learn to survive the CAR-T infusion. While many patients in the trials achieved remission after a month, we now have two years’ worth of data and the outlook isn’t as rosy. For lymphoma, that number is closer to 40 percent. Patients celebrating cures initially are relapsing later. Why?

The CAR-T cells we use target a specific protein on cancer cells. But if the cancer no longer expresses that protein, that can be a big problem, and we’re finding that’s exactly what’s happening. Through blood testing, we see that many patients who relapse lose the target.

Researchers are trying to regain the upper hand by designing CAR-Ts to target more than one receptor. It’s an old idea in a new frame: An arms race between our medicines and the illnesses that can evolve to evade them. Too much medical precision in these cases is actually not what we want, as it makes it easier for cancer to pinpoint what’s after it and develop an escape route. So, the reasoning goes, target multiple pieces at once. Confuse the cancer.

Then there’s the other dreaded “c” word: Cost. Novartis’ Kymriah runs up to $475,000 while Kite Pharma’s Yescarta is $373,000. That covers manufacturing and infusion. Not included is the minimum one-week hospital stay or any complications.

They are daunting numbers. Some limitations on health care we accept — maybe the patients are too sick; maybe they have the wrong disease. The wrong cost is not one we as a society look kindly upon. And drug companies shy away from that kind of attention.

Cost origins in medicine are notoriously murky. Novartis, confident in its technology, made an offer to offset the scrutiny in CAR-T. If the treatment didn’t work after one month, the company said it wouldn’t send a bill.

Not everyone agrees that cost is an issue. Gill, for example, believes the concern is over-hyped. It’s not “a major issue,” he told me over the phone. “Look, of course — [with] health care in this country, if you don’t have insurance, then you’re screwed. That is no different when it comes to CAR-T as it is for anything else,” he said. The cost conversation must also put CAR-T in context. Gill went on to list what these patients would be doing otherwise — months of chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, hospital stays for cancer-associated complications and the associated loss of income as patients and caregivers miss work. These could add up to far more than a one-time CAR-T infusion. A bone marrow transplant, for example, can cost from $100,000 to more than $300,000. The cancer-fighting drug blinatumomab, also used to treat relapsed leukemia, costs $178,000 a year. “Any discussion of cost is completely irresponsible without weighing the other side of the equation,” Gill said.

How the system will get on board is another question. Logistics will be an issue, Gill conceded. The first national Medicare policy for covering CAR-T was announced in August 2019, two years after the first product was approved. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has offered to reimburse a set rate for CAR T-cell infusion, and while this figure was recently raised, it remains less than the total cost. Despite the expansion of medical uses, at some centers referrals for CAR-T are dropping as hospitals worry it’s a net loss. And while most commercial insurers are covering CAR-T therapies, companies less accustomed to handling complex therapies can postpone approval. Ironically, the patients considering CAR-T are the ones for whom the window for treatment is narrowest. A delay of even a few weeks can mean the difference between a cure and hospice.

This, of course, poses a big problem. A breakthrough technology is only as good as its access. A major selling point of CAR-T — besides the efficacy — is its ease. It’s a one-and-done treatment. Engineered T-cells are intended to live indefinitely, constantly on the alert if cancer tries to come back. Compare that to chemotherapy or immunotherapy, which is months of infusions or a pill taken indefinitely. CAR-T is more akin to surgery: Cut it out, pay the entire cost upfront, and you’re done.

Birzer was lucky in this respect. I asked her and Johnson if cost had factored into their decision to try CAR-T. They looked at each other. “It wasn’t an issue,” said Johnson. They remembered getting a statement in the mail for a large sum when they got home. But Birzer had good insurance. She didn’t pay a cent.


One year after Birzer’s infusion, I met her and Johnson at a coffee shop near their home in San Francisco. They had saved a table. Johnson had a newspaper open. Birzer already had her coffee, and I noticed her hand trembling as she brought it to her mouth. She described how she still struggles to find exactly the right words. She sometimes flings peas. But she’s mostly back to normal, living her everyday life. She has even returned to her passion, performing stand-up comedy, though she admitted that at least for general audiences: “My jokes about cancer didn’t kill.”

People handed a devastating diagnosis don’t spend most of their time dying. They are living, but with a heightened awareness for a timeline the rest of us take for granted. They sip coffee, enjoy their hobbies, and read the news while also getting their affairs in order and staying on the lookout, constantly, for the next treatment that could save them.

Hoping for a miracle while preparing to die are mutually compatible ideas. Many of my patients have become accustomed to living somewhere in that limbo. It is humbling to witness. They hold out hope for a plan A, however unlikely it may be, while also adjusting to the reality of a plan B. They live their lives; and they live in uncertainty.

I see patients in various stages of this limbo. In clinic, I met a man with multiple myeloma six months after a CAR-T trial that supposedly cured him. He came in with a big smile but then quietly began praying when it was time to view PET results. He asked how the other patients on the trial were doing, and I shared the stats. While percentages don’t say anything about an individual experience, they’re also all patients have to go on. When someone on the same treatment dies, it’s shattering for everyone. Was one person the exception, or a harbinger another’s fate? Who is the outlier?

I look at these patients and think a sober truth: Before CAR-T, all would likely die within six months. Now, imagine taking 40 percent and curing them. Sure, a naysayer might point out, it’s only 40 percent. What’s the hype if most still succumb to their cancer? But there was nothing close to that before CAR-T. I agree with how Gill described it: “I think CAR-T cells are like chemotherapy in the 1950s. They’re not better than chemotherapy — they’re just different.” For an adversary as tough as cancer, we’ll take any tool we can get.

There remain many questions. Can we use CAR-T earlier in a cancer’s course? Lessen the side effects? Overcome resistance? Streamline manufacturing and reimbursement? Will it work in other cancers? Patients will sign up to answer.

For now, Birzer seems to be in the lucky 40 percent. Her one-year PET scan showed no cancer. I thought of our last coffee meeting, where I had asked if she ever worried she wouldn’t return to normal. She didn’t even pause. “If you’re not dead,” she said, “you’re winning.”


Ilana Yurkiewicz, M.D., is a physician at Stanford University and a medical journalist. She is a former Scientific American Blog Network columnist and AAAS Mass Media Fellow. Her writing has also appeared in Aeon Magazine, Health Affairs, and STAT News, and has been featured in "The Best American Science and Nature Writing."

This article was originally published on Undark. Read the original article.

An unexpected early morning phone call from the hospital is never good news. When Joy Johnson answered, her first thought was that Sharon Birzer, her partner of 15 years, was dead. Her fears were amplified by the voice on the other end refusing to confirm or deny it. Just “come in and talk to one of the doctors,” she remembers the voice saying.

Johnson knew this was a real possibility. A few weeks earlier, she and Birzer sat in the exam room of a lymphoma specialist at Stanford University. Birzer’s cancer had grown, and fast — first during one type of chemotherapy, then through a second. Out of standard options, Birzer’s local oncologist had referred her for a novel treatment called chimeric antigen receptor T-cell therapy — or CAR-T. Birzer and Johnson knew the treatment was risky. They were warned there was a chance of death. There was also a chance of serious complications such as multi-organ failure and neurological impairment. But it was like warning a drowning person that her lifeboat could have problems. Without treatment, the chance of Birzer’s death was all but certain. She signed the consent form.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

Johnson hung up the phone that early morning and sped to the hospital. She met with a doctor and two chaplains in a windowless room in the cancer ward, where happy photos of cancer “alumni” smiled down from the walls. This is getting worse and worse, Johnson thought. As she remembers it, the doctor went through the timeline of what happened for 10 minutes, explaining how Birzer became sicker and sicker, before Johnson interrupted with the thought splitting her world in two: “I need you to tell me whether she’s alive or dead.”

Birzer wasn’t dead. But she was far from okay. The ordeal began with Birzer speaking gibberish. Then came seizures so severe there was concern she wouldn’t be able to breathe on her own. When it took a few different medications to stop Birzer from seizing, her doctors sedated her, put a breathing tube down her throat, and connected her to a ventilator. Now, she was unconscious and in the intensive care unit (ICU).

Birzer was one of the early patients to receive CAR-T, a radical new therapy to treat cancer. It involved removing Birzer’s own blood, filtering for immune cells called T-cells, and genetically engineering those cells to recognize and attack her lymphoma. CAR-T made history in 2017 as the first FDA-approved gene therapy to treat any disease. After three to six months of follow-up, the trials that led to approval showed response rates of 80 percent and above in aggressive leukemias and lymphomas that had resisted chemotherapy. Patients on the brink of death were coming back to life.

This is something I often dream of seeing but rarely do. As a doctor who treats cancer, I think a lot about how to frame new treatments to my patients. I never want to give false hope. But the uncertainty inherent to my field also cautions me against closing the door on optimism prematurely. We take it as a point of pride that no field of medicine evolves as rapidly as cancer — the FDA approves dozens of new treatments a year. One of my biggest challenges is staying up to date on every development and teasing apart what should — and shouldn’t — change my practice. I am often a mediator for my patients, tempering theoretical promises with everyday realism. To accept a research finding into medical practice, I prefer slow steps showing me proof of concept, safety, and efficacy.

CAR-T, nearly three decades in the making, systemically cleared these hurdles. Not only did the product work, its approach was also unique among cancer treatments. Unlike our usual advances, this wasn’t a matter of prescribing an old drug for a new disease or remixing known medications. CAR-T isn’t even a drug. This is a one-time infusion giving a person a better version of her own immune system. When the FDA approved its use, it wasn’t a question of whether my hospital would be involved, but how we could stay ahead. We weren’t alone.

Today, two FDA-approved CAR-T products called Kymriah and Yescarta are available in more than 100 hospitals collectively across the U.S. Hundreds of clinical trials are tinkering with dosages, patient populations, and types of cancer. Some medical centers are manufacturing the cells on-site.

The FDA approved CAR-T with a drug safety program called a Risk Evaluation and Mitigation Strategy (REMS). As I cared for these patients, I quickly realized the FDA’s concerns. Of the 10 or so patients I’ve treated, more than half developed strange neurologic side effects ranging from headaches to difficulty speaking to seizures to falling unconscious. We scrambled to learn how to manage the side effects in real time.

Johnson and Birzer, who I didn’t treat personally but spoke to at length for this essay, understood this better than most. Both had worked in quality control for a blood bank and were medically savvier than the average patient. They accepted a medical system with a learning curve. They were fine with hearing “I don’t know.” Signing up for a trailblazing treatment meant going along for the ride. Twists and bumps were par for the course.


Cancer, by definition, means something has gone very wrong within — a cell has malfunctioned and multiplied. The philosophy for fighting cancer has been, for the most part, creating and bringing in treatments from outside the body. That’s how we got to the most common modern approaches: Chemotherapy (administering drugs to kill cancer), radiation (using high energy beams to kill cancer), and surgery (cutting cancer out with a scalpel and other tools). Next came the genetics revolution, with a focus on creating drugs that target a precise genetic mutation separating a cancer cell from a normal one. But cancers are genetically complex, with legions of mutations and the talent to develop new ones. It’s rare to have that one magic bullet.

Over the last decade or so, our approach shifted. Instead of fighting cancer from the outside, we are increasingly turning in. The human body is already marvelously equipped to recognize and attack invaders, from the common cold to food poisoning, even if the invaders are ones the body has never seen before. Cancer doesn’t belong either. But since cancer cells come from normal ones, they’ve developed clever camouflages to trick and evade the immune system. The 2018 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine was jointly awarded to two researchers for their work in immunotherapy, a class of medications devoted to wiping out the camouflages and restoring the immune system’s upper hand. As I once watched a fellow oncologist describe it to a patient: “I’m not treating you. You are treating you.”

What if we could go one step further? What if we could genetically engineer a patient’s own immune cells to spot and fight cancer, as a sort of “best hits” of genetic therapy and immunotherapy?

 

Enter CAR-T. The technology uses T-cells, which are like the bouncers of the immune system. T-cells survey the body and make sure everything belongs. CAR-T involves removing a person’s T-cells from her blood and using a disarmed virus to deliver new genetic material to the cells. The new genes given to the T-cells help them make two types of proteins. The first — giving the technology its name — is a CAR, which sits on the T-cell’s surface and binds to a protein on the tumor cell’s surface, like a lock and key. The second serves as the T-cell’s caffeine jolt, rousing it to activate. Once the genetic engineering part is done, the T-cells are prodded to multiply by being placed on a rocking device that feeds them nutrients while filtering their wastes. When the cells reach a high enough number — a typical “dose” ranges from hundreds of thousands to hundreds of millions — they are formidable enough to go back into the patient. Once inside, the cancer provokes the new cells to replicate even more. After one week, a typical expansion means multiplying by about another 1,000-fold.

Practically, it looks like this: A person comes in for an appointment. She has a catheter placed in a vein, perhaps in her arm or her chest, that connects to a large, whirring machine which pulls in her blood and separates it into its components. The medical team set the T-cells aside to freeze while the rest of the blood circulates back into the patient in a closed loop. Then, the hospital ships the cells frozen to the relevant pharmaceutical company’s headquarters or transports them to a lab on-site, where thawing and manufacturing takes from a few days to a few weeks. When the cells are ready, the patient undergoes about three days of chemotherapy to kill both cancer and normal cells, making room for the millions of new cells and eradicating normal immune players that could jeopardize their existence. She then gets a day or two to rest. When the new cells are infused back into her blood, we call that Day 0.

 


I remember the first time I watched a patient get his Day 0 infusion. It felt anti-climactic. The entire process took about 15 minutes. The CAR-T cells are invisible to the naked eye, housed in a small plastic bag containing clear liquid.

“That’s it?” my patient asked when the nurse said it was over. The infusion part is easy. The hard part is everything that comes next.

Once the cells are in, they can’t turn off. That this may cause collateral damage was evident from the start. In 2009 — working in parallel with other researchers at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York and the National Cancer Institute in Maryland — oncologists at the University of Pennsylvania opened a clinical trial for CAR-T in human leukemia patients. (Carl June, who led the CAR-T development, did not respond to Undark’s interview request.) Of the first three patients who got CAR-T infusions, two achieved complete remission — but nearly died in the process. The first was a retired corrections officer named Bill Ludwig, who developed extremely high fevers and went into multi-organ failure requiring time in the ICU. At the time, the medical teams had no idea why it was happening or how to stop it. But time passed. Ludwig got better. Then came the truly incredible part: His cancer was gone.

With only philanthropic support, the trial ran out of funding. Of the eligible patients they intended to treat, the Penn doctors only treated three. So they published the results of one patient in the New England Journal of Medicine and presented the outcomes of all three patients, including Ludwig, at a cancer conference anyway. From there, the money poured in. Based on the results, the Swiss pharmaceutical company Novartis licensed the rights of the therapy.

The next year, six-year-old Emily Whitehead was on the brink of death when she became the first child to receive CAR-T. She also became extremely ill in the ICU, and her cancer was also eventually cured. Her media savvy parents helped bring her story public, making her the poster child for CAR-T. In 2014, the FDA granted CAR-T a breakthrough therapy designation to expedite the development of extremely promising therapies. By 2017, a larger trial gave the treatment to 75 children and young adults with a type of leukemia — B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia — that failed to respond to chemotherapy. Eighty-one percent had no sign of cancer after three months.

 

In August 2017, the FDA approved a CAR-T treatment as the first gene therapy in the U.S. The decision was unanimous. The Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee, a branch of the FDA that reviews new cancer products, voted 10 to zero in favor of Kymriah. Committee members called the responses “remarkable” and “potentially paradigm changing.” When the announcement broke, a crowd formed in the medical education center of Penn Medicine, made up of ecstatic faculty and staff. There were banners and T-shirts. “A remarkable thing happened” was the tagline, above a cartoon image of a heroic T-cell. Two months later, in October 2017, the FDA approved a second CAR-T formulation called Yescarta from Kite Pharma, a subsidiary of Gilead Sciences, to treat an aggressive blood cancer in adults called diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, the trial of which had shown a 54 percent complete response rate, meaning all signs of cancer had disappeared. In May 2018, Kymriah was approved to treat adults with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

That year, the American Society of Clinical Oncology named CAR-T the Advance of the Year, beating out immunotherapy, which had won two years in a row. When I attended the last American Society of Hematology meeting in December 2018, CAR-T stole the show. Trying to get into CAR-T talks felt like trying to get a photo with a celebrity. Running five minutes late to one session meant facing closed doors. Others were standing room only. With every slide, it became difficult to see over a sea of smartphones snapping photos. At one session I found a seat next to the oncologist from my hospital who treated Birzer. “Look,” she nudged me. “Do you see all these ‘non-member’ badges?” I turned. Members were doctors like us who treated blood cancers. I couldn’t imagine who else would want to be here. “Who are they?” I asked. “Investors,” she said. It felt obvious the moment she said it.

For patients, the dreaded “c” word is cancer. For oncologists, it’s cure. When patients ask, I’ve noticed how we gently steer the conversation toward safer lingo. We talk about keeping the cancer in check. Cure is a dangerous word, used only when so much time has passed from her cancer diagnosis we can be reasonably certain it’s gone. But that line is arbitrary. We celebrate therapies that add weeks or months because the diseases are pugnacious, the biology diverse, and the threat of relapse looming. Oncologists are a tempered group, or so I’ve learned, finding inspiration in slow, incremental change.

This was completely different. These were patients who would have otherwise died, and the trials were boasting that 54 to 81 percent were cancer-free upon initial follow-up. PET scans showed tumors that had speckled an entire body melt away. Bone marrow biopsies were clear, with even the most sensitive testing unable to detect disease.

The dreaded word was being tossed around — could this be the cure we’ve always wanted?


When a new drug gets FDA approval, it makes its way into clinical practice, swiftly and often with little fanfare. Under the drug safety program REMS, hospitals offering CAR-T were obligated to undergo special training to monitor and manage side effects. As hospitals worked to create CAR-T programs, oncologists like me made the all too familiar transition from first-time user to expert.

It was May 2018 when I rotated through my hospital’s unit and cared for my first patients on CAR-T. As I covered 24-hour shifts, I quickly learned that whether I would sleep that night depended on how many CAR-T patients I was covering. With each treatment, it felt like we were pouring gasoline on the fire of patients’ immune systems. Some developed high fevers and their blood pressures plummeted, mimicking a serious infection. But there was no infection to be found. When resuscitating with fluids couldn’t maintain my patients’ blood pressures, I sent them to the ICU where they required intensive support to supply blood to their critical organs.

We now have a name for this effect — cytokine release syndrome — that occurs in more than half of patients who receive CAR-T, starting with Ludwig and Whitehead. The syndrome is the collateral damage of an immune system on the highest possible alert. This was first seen with other types of immunotherapy, but CAR-T took its severity to a new level. Usually starting the week after CAR-T, cytokine release syndrome can range from simple fevers to multi-organ failure affecting the liver, kidneys, heart, and more. The activated T-cells make and recruit other immune players called cytokines to join in the fight. Cytokines then recruit more immune cells. Unlike in the early trials at Penn, we now have two medicines to dampen the effect. Steroids calm the immune system in general, while a medication called tocilizumab, used to treat autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, blocks cytokines specifically.

Fortuity was behind the idea of tocilizumab: When Emily Whitehead, the first child to receive CAR-T, developed cytokine release syndrome, her medical team noted that her blood contained high levels of a cytokine called interleukin 6. Carl June thought of his own daughter, who had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and was on a new FDA-approved medication that suppressed the same cytokine. The team tried the drug, tocilizumab, in Whitehead. It worked.

Still, we were cautious in our early treatments. The symptoms of cytokine release syndrome mimic the symptoms of severe infection. If this were infection, medicines that dampen a patient’s immune system would be the opposite of what you’d want to give. There was another concern: Would these medications dampen the anti-cancer activity too? We didn’t know. Whenever a CAR-T patient spiked a fever, I struggled with the question — is it cytokine release syndrome, or is it infection? I often played it safe and covered all bases, starting antibiotics and steroids at the same time. It was counterintuitive, like pressing both heat and ice on a strain, or treating a patient simultaneously with fluids and diuretics.

The second side effect was even scarier: Patients stopped talking. Some, like Sharon Birzer spoke gibberish or had violent seizures. Some couldn’t interact at all, unable to follow simple commands like “squeeze my fingers.” How? Why? At hospitals across the nation, perfectly cognitively intact people who had signed up to treat their cancer were unable to ask what was happening.

Our nurses learned to ask a standardized list of questions to catch the effect, which we called neurotoxicity: Where are we? Who is the president? What is 100 minus 10? When the patients scored too low on these quizzes, they called me to the bedside.

 

In turn, I relied heavily on a laminated booklet, made by other doctors who were using CAR-T, which we tacked to a bulletin board in our doctors’ workroom. It contained a short chart noting how to score severity and what to do next. I flipped through the brightly color-coded pages telling me when to order a head CT-scan to look for brain swelling and when to place scalp electrodes looking for seizures. Meanwhile, we formed new channels of communication. As I routinely called a handful of CAR-T specialists at my hospital in the middle of the night, national consortiums formed where specialists around the country shared their experiences. As we tweaked the instructions, we scribbled updates to the booklet in pen.

I wanted to know whether my experience was representative. I came across an abstract and conference talk that explored what happened to 277 patients who received CAR-T in the real world, so I emailed the lead author, Loretta Nastoupil, director of the Department of Lymphoma and Myeloma at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Fortuitously, she was planning a trip to my university to give a talk that month. We met at a café and I asked what her research found. Compared to the earlier trials, the patients were much sicker, she said. Of the 277 patients, more than 40 percent wouldn’t have been eligible for the very trials that got CAR-T approved. Was her team calling other centers for advice? “They were calling us,” she said.

Patients included in clinical trials are carefully selected. They tend not to have other major medical problems, as we want them to survive whatever rigorous new therapy we put them through. Nastoupil admits some of it is arbitrary. Many criteria in the CAR-T trials were based on criteria that had been used in chemotherapy trials. “These become standard languages that apply to all studies,” she said, listing benchmarks like a patient’s age, kidney function, and platelet count. “But we have no idea whether criteria for chemotherapy would apply to cellular therapy.”

Now, with a blanket FDA approval comes clinical judgment. Patients want a chance. Oncologists want to give their patients a chance. Young, old, prior cancer, heart disease, or liver disease — without strict trial criteria, anyone is fair game.

When I was making rounds at my hospital, I never wandered too far from these patients’ rooms, medically prepared for them to crash at any moment. At the same time, early side effects made me optimistic. A bizarre truism in cancer is that side effects may bode well. They could mean the treatment is working. Cancer is usually a waiting game, requiring months to learn an answer. Patients and doctors alike seek clues, but the only real way to know is waiting: Will the next PET scan show anything? What are the biopsy results?

CAR-T was fundamentally different from other cancer treatments in that it worked fast. Birzer’s first clue came just a few hours after her infusion. She developed pain in her lower back. She described it as feeling like she had menstrual cramps. A heavy burden of lymphoma lay in her uterus. Could the pain mean that the CAR-T cells had migrated to the right spot and started to work? Her medical team didn’t know, but the lead doctor’s instinct was that it was a good sign.

Two days later, her temperature shot up to 102. Her blood pressure dropped. The medical team diagnosed cytokine release syndrome, as though right on schedule, and gave her tocilizumab.

Every day, the nurses would ask her questions and have her write simple sentences on a slip of paper to monitor for neurotoxicity. By the fifth day, her answers changed. “She started saying things that were crazy,” Johnson explained.

One of Birzer's sentences was “guinea pigs eat greens like hay and pizza.” Birzer and Johnson owned two guinea pigs, so their diet would be something Birzer normally knew well. So Johnson tried to reason with her: “They don’t eat pizza.” And Birzer replied, “They do eat pizza, but only gluten-free.”

Johnson remembers being struck by the certainty in her partner’s delirium. Not only was Birzer confused, she was confident she was not. “She was doubling down on everything,” Johnson described. “She was absolutely sure she was right.”

Johnson vividly remembers the evening before the frightening early-morning phone call that brought her rushing back to the hospital. Birzer had said there was no point in Johnson staying overnight; she would only watch her be in pain. So Johnson went home. After she did, the doctor came by multiple times to evaluate Birzer. She was deteriorating — and fast. Her speech became more and more garbled. Soon she couldn’t name simple objects and didn’t know where she was. At 3 a.m., the doctor ordered a head CT to make sure Birzer wasn’t bleeding into her brain.

Fortunately, she wasn’t. But by 7 a.m. Birzer stopped speaking altogether. Then she seized. Birzer’s nurse was about to step out of the room when she noticed Birzer’s arms and legs shaking. Her eyes stared vacantly and she wet the bed. The nurse called a code blue, and a team of more doctors and nurses ran over. Birzer was loaded with high-dose anti-seizure medications through her IV. But she continued to seize. As nurses infused more medications into her IV, a doctor placed a breathing tube down her throat.

Birzer’s saga poses the big question: Why does CAR-T cause seizures and other neurologic problems? No one seemed to know. My search of the published scientific literature was thin, but one name kept cropping up. So I called her. Juliane Gust, a pediatric neurologist and scientist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, told me her investigations of how CAR-T affects the brain were motivated by her own experiences. When the early CAR-T trials opened at her hospital in 2014, she and her colleagues began getting calls from oncologists about brain toxicities they knew nothing about. “Where are the papers?” she remembered thinking. “There was nothing.”

 

Typically, the brain is protected by a collection of cells aptly named the blood-brain-barrier. But with severe CAR-T neurotoxicity, research suggests, this defense breaks down. Gust explained that spinal taps on these patients show high levels of cytokines floating in the fluid surrounding the spine and brain. Some CAR-T cells circulate in the fluid too, she said, but these numbers do not correlate with sicker patients. CAR-T cells are even seen in the spinal fluid of patients without any symptoms.

What does this mean? Gust interprets it as a patient’s symptoms having more to do with cytokines than the CAR-T cells. “Cytokine release syndrome is the number one risk factor” for developing neurotoxicity over the next few days, she said. The mainstay for neurotoxicity is starting steroids as soon as possible. “In the beginning we didn’t manage as aggressively. We were worried about impairing the function of the CAR-T,” she added. “Now we give steroids right away.”

But the steroids don’t always work. Several doses of steroids didn’t prevent Birzer from seizing. The morning after Johnson’s alarming phone call, after the meeting at the hospital when she learned what had happened, a chaplain walked her from the conference room to the ICU. The first day, Johnson sat by her partner’s bedside while Birzer remained unconscious. By the next evening, she woke up enough to breathe on her own. The doctors removed her breathing tube, and Birzer looked around. She had no idea who she was or where she was.

Birzer was like a newborn baby, confused and sometimes frightened by her surroundings. She frequently looked like she was about to say something, but she couldn’t find the words despite the nurses and Johnson’s encouragement. One day she spoke a few words. Eventually she learned her name. A few days later she recognized Johnson. Her life was coming back to her, though she was still suspicious of her reality. She accused the nurses of tricking her, for instance, when they told her Donald Trump was president.

She took cues from the adults around her on whether her actions were appropriate. The best example of this was her “I love you” phase. One day, she said it to Johnson in the hospital. A few nurses overheard it and commented on how sweet it was. Birzer was pleased with the reaction. So she turned to the nurse: “I love you!” And the person emptying the trash: “I love you!” Months later, she was having lunch with a friend who asked, “Do you remember when you told me you loved me?” Birzer said, “Well, I stand by that one.”

When she got home, she needed a walker to help with her shakiness on her feet. When recounting her everyday interactions, she would swap in the wrong people, substituting a friend for someone else. She saw bugs that didn’t exist. She couldn’t hold a spoon or a cup steady. Johnson would try to slow her down, but Birzer was adamant she could eat and drink without help. “Then peas would fly in my face,” Johnson said.

Patients who experience neurotoxicity fall into one of three categories. The majority are impaired but then return to normal without long-term damage. A devastating handful, less than 1 percent, develop severe brain swelling and die. The rest fall into a minority that have lingering problems even months out. These are usually struggles to think up the right word, trouble concentrating, and weakness, often requiring long courses of rehabilitation and extra help at home.

 

As Birzer told me about her months of rehab, I thought how she did seem to fall somewhere in the middle among the patients I’ve treated. On one end of the spectrum was the rancher who remained profoundly weak a year after his infusion. Before CAR-T, he walked across his ranch without issue; six months later, he needed a walker. Even with it, he fell on a near weekly basis. On the other end was the retired teacher who couldn’t speak for a week – she would look around her ICU room and move her mouth as though trying her hardest — and then woke up as though nothing happened. She left the hospital and instantly resumed her life, which included a recent trip across the country. In hindsight, I remember how we worried more about giving the therapy to the teacher than the rancher, as she seemed frailer. Outcomes like theirs leave me with a familiar humility I keep learning in new ways as a doctor: We often can’t predict how a patient will do. Our instincts can be just plain wrong.

I asked Gust if we have data to predict who will land in which group. While we can point to some risk factors — higher burdens of cancer, baseline cognitive problems before therapy — “the individual patient tells you nothing,” she confirmed.

So we wait.


Doctors like me who specialize in cancer regularly field heart-wrenching questions from patients. They have read about CAR-T in the news, and now they want to know: What about me? What about my cancer?

So, who gets CAR-T? That leads to the tougher question — who doesn’t? That depends on the type of cancer and whether their insurance can pay.

CAR-T is approved to treat certain leukemias and lymphomas that come from the blood and bone marrow. Since the initial approval, researchers have also set up new CAR-T trials for all sorts of solid tumors from lung cancer to kidney cancer to sarcoma. But progress has been slow. While some promising findings are coming from the lab and in small numbers of patients on early phase trials, nothing is yet approved in humans. The remarkable responses occurring in blood cancers just weren’t happening in solid tumors.

Cancer is one word, but it’s not one disease. “It’s easier to prove why something works when it works than show why it doesn’t work when it doesn’t work,” said Saar Gill, a hematologist and scientist at the University of Pennsylvania who co-founded a company called Carisma Therapeutics using CAR-T technology against solid tumors. That was his short answer, at least. The longer answer to why CAR-T hasn’t worked in solid cancers involves what Gill believes are two main barriers. First, it’s a trafficking problem. Leukemia cells tend to be easier targets; they bob through the bloodstream like buoys in an ocean. Solid tumors are more like trash islands. The cancer cells stick together and grow an assortment of supporting structures to hold the mound together. The first problem for CAR-T is that the T-cells may not be able to penetrate the islands. Then, even if the T-cells make it in, they’re faced with a hostile environment and will likely die before they can work.

At Carisma, Gill and his colleagues look to get around these obstacles though a different immune cell called the macrophage. T-cells are not the only players of the immune system, after all. Macrophages are gluttonous cells that recognize invaders and engulf them for destruction. But studies have shown they cluster in solid tumors in a way T-cells don’t. Gill hopes genetically engineered macrophages can be the stowaways that sneak into solid tumor and attack from the inside out.

 

Another big challenge, even for leukemias and lymphomas, is resistance, where the cancers learn to survive the CAR-T infusion. While many patients in the trials achieved remission after a month, we now have two years’ worth of data and the outlook isn’t as rosy. For lymphoma, that number is closer to 40 percent. Patients celebrating cures initially are relapsing later. Why?

The CAR-T cells we use target a specific protein on cancer cells. But if the cancer no longer expresses that protein, that can be a big problem, and we’re finding that’s exactly what’s happening. Through blood testing, we see that many patients who relapse lose the target.

Researchers are trying to regain the upper hand by designing CAR-Ts to target more than one receptor. It’s an old idea in a new frame: An arms race between our medicines and the illnesses that can evolve to evade them. Too much medical precision in these cases is actually not what we want, as it makes it easier for cancer to pinpoint what’s after it and develop an escape route. So, the reasoning goes, target multiple pieces at once. Confuse the cancer.

Then there’s the other dreaded “c” word: Cost. Novartis’ Kymriah runs up to $475,000 while Kite Pharma’s Yescarta is $373,000. That covers manufacturing and infusion. Not included is the minimum one-week hospital stay or any complications.

They are daunting numbers. Some limitations on health care we accept — maybe the patients are too sick; maybe they have the wrong disease. The wrong cost is not one we as a society look kindly upon. And drug companies shy away from that kind of attention.

Cost origins in medicine are notoriously murky. Novartis, confident in its technology, made an offer to offset the scrutiny in CAR-T. If the treatment didn’t work after one month, the company said it wouldn’t send a bill.

Not everyone agrees that cost is an issue. Gill, for example, believes the concern is over-hyped. It’s not “a major issue,” he told me over the phone. “Look, of course — [with] health care in this country, if you don’t have insurance, then you’re screwed. That is no different when it comes to CAR-T as it is for anything else,” he said. The cost conversation must also put CAR-T in context. Gill went on to list what these patients would be doing otherwise — months of chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, hospital stays for cancer-associated complications and the associated loss of income as patients and caregivers miss work. These could add up to far more than a one-time CAR-T infusion. A bone marrow transplant, for example, can cost from $100,000 to more than $300,000. The cancer-fighting drug blinatumomab, also used to treat relapsed leukemia, costs $178,000 a year. “Any discussion of cost is completely irresponsible without weighing the other side of the equation,” Gill said.

How the system will get on board is another question. Logistics will be an issue, Gill conceded. The first national Medicare policy for covering CAR-T was announced in August 2019, two years after the first product was approved. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has offered to reimburse a set rate for CAR T-cell infusion, and while this figure was recently raised, it remains less than the total cost. Despite the expansion of medical uses, at some centers referrals for CAR-T are dropping as hospitals worry it’s a net loss. And while most commercial insurers are covering CAR-T therapies, companies less accustomed to handling complex therapies can postpone approval. Ironically, the patients considering CAR-T are the ones for whom the window for treatment is narrowest. A delay of even a few weeks can mean the difference between a cure and hospice.

This, of course, poses a big problem. A breakthrough technology is only as good as its access. A major selling point of CAR-T — besides the efficacy — is its ease. It’s a one-and-done treatment. Engineered T-cells are intended to live indefinitely, constantly on the alert if cancer tries to come back. Compare that to chemotherapy or immunotherapy, which is months of infusions or a pill taken indefinitely. CAR-T is more akin to surgery: Cut it out, pay the entire cost upfront, and you’re done.

Birzer was lucky in this respect. I asked her and Johnson if cost had factored into their decision to try CAR-T. They looked at each other. “It wasn’t an issue,” said Johnson. They remembered getting a statement in the mail for a large sum when they got home. But Birzer had good insurance. She didn’t pay a cent.


One year after Birzer’s infusion, I met her and Johnson at a coffee shop near their home in San Francisco. They had saved a table. Johnson had a newspaper open. Birzer already had her coffee, and I noticed her hand trembling as she brought it to her mouth. She described how she still struggles to find exactly the right words. She sometimes flings peas. But she’s mostly back to normal, living her everyday life. She has even returned to her passion, performing stand-up comedy, though she admitted that at least for general audiences: “My jokes about cancer didn’t kill.”

People handed a devastating diagnosis don’t spend most of their time dying. They are living, but with a heightened awareness for a timeline the rest of us take for granted. They sip coffee, enjoy their hobbies, and read the news while also getting their affairs in order and staying on the lookout, constantly, for the next treatment that could save them.

Hoping for a miracle while preparing to die are mutually compatible ideas. Many of my patients have become accustomed to living somewhere in that limbo. It is humbling to witness. They hold out hope for a plan A, however unlikely it may be, while also adjusting to the reality of a plan B. They live their lives; and they live in uncertainty.

I see patients in various stages of this limbo. In clinic, I met a man with multiple myeloma six months after a CAR-T trial that supposedly cured him. He came in with a big smile but then quietly began praying when it was time to view PET results. He asked how the other patients on the trial were doing, and I shared the stats. While percentages don’t say anything about an individual experience, they’re also all patients have to go on. When someone on the same treatment dies, it’s shattering for everyone. Was one person the exception, or a harbinger another’s fate? Who is the outlier?

I look at these patients and think a sober truth: Before CAR-T, all would likely die within six months. Now, imagine taking 40 percent and curing them. Sure, a naysayer might point out, it’s only 40 percent. What’s the hype if most still succumb to their cancer? But there was nothing close to that before CAR-T. I agree with how Gill described it: “I think CAR-T cells are like chemotherapy in the 1950s. They’re not better than chemotherapy — they’re just different.” For an adversary as tough as cancer, we’ll take any tool we can get.

There remain many questions. Can we use CAR-T earlier in a cancer’s course? Lessen the side effects? Overcome resistance? Streamline manufacturing and reimbursement? Will it work in other cancers? Patients will sign up to answer.

For now, Birzer seems to be in the lucky 40 percent. Her one-year PET scan showed no cancer. I thought of our last coffee meeting, where I had asked if she ever worried she wouldn’t return to normal. She didn’t even pause. “If you’re not dead,” she said, “you’re winning.”


Ilana Yurkiewicz, M.D., is a physician at Stanford University and a medical journalist. She is a former Scientific American Blog Network columnist and AAAS Mass Media Fellow. Her writing has also appeared in Aeon Magazine, Health Affairs, and STAT News, and has been featured in "The Best American Science and Nature Writing."

This article was originally published on Undark. Read the original article.

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Snapshots of an oncologist

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It’s 6:30 on a Friday night, and I am triaging three admissions to the leukemia service at once. The call from the ED about you makes me pause. I recognize your name – you were my patient a few years before. At the time, you were undergoing chemotherapy for acute myeloid leukemia, and I cared for you during the aftermath. I now pull up your chart and fill in the gaps of the last 2 years. You got into remission and received a bone marrow transplant. For 2 years, you were cured. But today, you are back. The ED has picked up an abundance of blasts – cancer cells – in your blood. I walk to your ED gurney slowly, thinking of how to tell you this. You recognize me, too. And I can see in your eyes that you already know. “I am so sorry this is happening,” I say.

You are here for your third cycle of chemotherapy. It’s a standard check-in. The first cycle was tolerable, the second cycle was rough, and now you are exhausted. You wonder if it’s normal to be so beat up from this. You ask how much nausea is too much nausea. But your hair didn’t fall out – isn’t that strange? Is it a sure thing that it will? And, by the way, is there anything to prevent the neuropathy? You wiggle your fingers as if to emphasize the point. We go through each of your symptoms and strategize ways to make this cycle better than the last. “OK,” you conclude triumphantly. “I got this!”

It’s your 1-month follow-up and it’s time to pivot. After you were diagnosed with an aggressive triple-negative breast cancer, you met with a medical oncologist and a surgeon. Chemotherapy first, they agreed. The chemo would shrink the tumor, they said, so that it could all be scooped out with surgery. The medications were rough, but you knew it was for the best. But now it’s been two cycles and the lump in your breast is getting bigger not smaller. I ask if I may draw on your skin, promising I’ll wash it off. I gently trace the mass in pen and pull out a tape measure. Yes. It is bigger. I listen to your heart and hear it racing. “What now?” you ask.

When you saw your doctor for bloating and were told it’s not gas, actually, but stage 4 cancer, you didn’t cry. You didn’t deny it. You prepared. You called your lawyer and made a will. You contacted your job and planned for retirement. You organized your things so your children wouldn’t have to. Your oncologist recommended palliative chemotherapy as it could give you some more good days. The best case scenario would be 1 year. That was 2½ years ago. You still like to be prepared, you tell me, but that’s on the back burner now. You are busy, after all – your feet still ache from dancing all night in heels at your niece’s wedding last weekend. I pull up your latest PET scan and we look together: Again, wonderfully, everything appears stable. “See you in 3 months,” I say.



You called three times to move up this appointment because you didn’t know if you’d be alive this long. You want a second opinion. When your kidney cancer grew after surgery, two immunotherapy drugs, and a chemotherapy pill, the latest setback has been fevers up to 104 ° with drenching night sweats. They found a deep infection gnawing around the edges of your tumor, and antibiotics aren’t touching it. The only chance to stop the cancer is more chemotherapy, but that could make the infection worse and lead to a rapid demise. You can’t decide. Today, in the exam room, you are sweating. Your temperature is 101 °. Your partner is trying to keep it together, but the crumpled tissues in her hand give it away. She looks at me earnestly: “What would you do if this were your family member?”

You teach about this disease in your classes and never thought it would happen to you. It started simply enough – you were bruising. Your joints ached. Small things; odd things. The ER doctor cleverly noticed that some numbers were off in your blood counts and sent you to a hematology-oncology doctor, who then cleverly ordered a molecular blood test. It was a long shot. He didn’t really expect it to come back with chronic myeloid leukemia. But there it is, and here we are. You return to talk about treatment options. You understand in detail the biology of how they work. What you don’t know is which is best for you. I go through the four choices and unpleasant effects of each. Muscle aches; diarrhea; risk of bleeding; twice a day dosing tied to mealtimes. “Is there an Option 5?” you wonder.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

You have been in the hospital for 34 days, but who’s counting? You are. Because it has been Thirty. Four. Days. You knew the chemotherapy would suppress your blood counts. Now you know what “impaired immune system” really means. You had the bloodstream bacterial infection, requiring 2 days in the ICU. You had the invasive fungus growing in your lungs. The nurses post a calendar on your wall and kindly fill it in every day with your white blood cell count so you don’t have to ask. For days, it’s the same. Your bag stays packed – “just in case,” you explain. Your spouse diligently keeps your children – 2 and 4 years old – away, as kids are notorious germ factories. Then one Sunday morning and – finally! “Put me on speakerphone,” you tell your spouse. “Daddy is coming home!”

One of the most precious parts of hematology and oncology is the relationships. You are there not just for one difficult moment, but for the journey. I await getting to help you over the years to come. For now, I will settle for snapshots.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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It’s 6:30 on a Friday night, and I am triaging three admissions to the leukemia service at once. The call from the ED about you makes me pause. I recognize your name – you were my patient a few years before. At the time, you were undergoing chemotherapy for acute myeloid leukemia, and I cared for you during the aftermath. I now pull up your chart and fill in the gaps of the last 2 years. You got into remission and received a bone marrow transplant. For 2 years, you were cured. But today, you are back. The ED has picked up an abundance of blasts – cancer cells – in your blood. I walk to your ED gurney slowly, thinking of how to tell you this. You recognize me, too. And I can see in your eyes that you already know. “I am so sorry this is happening,” I say.

You are here for your third cycle of chemotherapy. It’s a standard check-in. The first cycle was tolerable, the second cycle was rough, and now you are exhausted. You wonder if it’s normal to be so beat up from this. You ask how much nausea is too much nausea. But your hair didn’t fall out – isn’t that strange? Is it a sure thing that it will? And, by the way, is there anything to prevent the neuropathy? You wiggle your fingers as if to emphasize the point. We go through each of your symptoms and strategize ways to make this cycle better than the last. “OK,” you conclude triumphantly. “I got this!”

It’s your 1-month follow-up and it’s time to pivot. After you were diagnosed with an aggressive triple-negative breast cancer, you met with a medical oncologist and a surgeon. Chemotherapy first, they agreed. The chemo would shrink the tumor, they said, so that it could all be scooped out with surgery. The medications were rough, but you knew it was for the best. But now it’s been two cycles and the lump in your breast is getting bigger not smaller. I ask if I may draw on your skin, promising I’ll wash it off. I gently trace the mass in pen and pull out a tape measure. Yes. It is bigger. I listen to your heart and hear it racing. “What now?” you ask.

When you saw your doctor for bloating and were told it’s not gas, actually, but stage 4 cancer, you didn’t cry. You didn’t deny it. You prepared. You called your lawyer and made a will. You contacted your job and planned for retirement. You organized your things so your children wouldn’t have to. Your oncologist recommended palliative chemotherapy as it could give you some more good days. The best case scenario would be 1 year. That was 2½ years ago. You still like to be prepared, you tell me, but that’s on the back burner now. You are busy, after all – your feet still ache from dancing all night in heels at your niece’s wedding last weekend. I pull up your latest PET scan and we look together: Again, wonderfully, everything appears stable. “See you in 3 months,” I say.



You called three times to move up this appointment because you didn’t know if you’d be alive this long. You want a second opinion. When your kidney cancer grew after surgery, two immunotherapy drugs, and a chemotherapy pill, the latest setback has been fevers up to 104 ° with drenching night sweats. They found a deep infection gnawing around the edges of your tumor, and antibiotics aren’t touching it. The only chance to stop the cancer is more chemotherapy, but that could make the infection worse and lead to a rapid demise. You can’t decide. Today, in the exam room, you are sweating. Your temperature is 101 °. Your partner is trying to keep it together, but the crumpled tissues in her hand give it away. She looks at me earnestly: “What would you do if this were your family member?”

You teach about this disease in your classes and never thought it would happen to you. It started simply enough – you were bruising. Your joints ached. Small things; odd things. The ER doctor cleverly noticed that some numbers were off in your blood counts and sent you to a hematology-oncology doctor, who then cleverly ordered a molecular blood test. It was a long shot. He didn’t really expect it to come back with chronic myeloid leukemia. But there it is, and here we are. You return to talk about treatment options. You understand in detail the biology of how they work. What you don’t know is which is best for you. I go through the four choices and unpleasant effects of each. Muscle aches; diarrhea; risk of bleeding; twice a day dosing tied to mealtimes. “Is there an Option 5?” you wonder.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

You have been in the hospital for 34 days, but who’s counting? You are. Because it has been Thirty. Four. Days. You knew the chemotherapy would suppress your blood counts. Now you know what “impaired immune system” really means. You had the bloodstream bacterial infection, requiring 2 days in the ICU. You had the invasive fungus growing in your lungs. The nurses post a calendar on your wall and kindly fill it in every day with your white blood cell count so you don’t have to ask. For days, it’s the same. Your bag stays packed – “just in case,” you explain. Your spouse diligently keeps your children – 2 and 4 years old – away, as kids are notorious germ factories. Then one Sunday morning and – finally! “Put me on speakerphone,” you tell your spouse. “Daddy is coming home!”

One of the most precious parts of hematology and oncology is the relationships. You are there not just for one difficult moment, but for the journey. I await getting to help you over the years to come. For now, I will settle for snapshots.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

 

It’s 6:30 on a Friday night, and I am triaging three admissions to the leukemia service at once. The call from the ED about you makes me pause. I recognize your name – you were my patient a few years before. At the time, you were undergoing chemotherapy for acute myeloid leukemia, and I cared for you during the aftermath. I now pull up your chart and fill in the gaps of the last 2 years. You got into remission and received a bone marrow transplant. For 2 years, you were cured. But today, you are back. The ED has picked up an abundance of blasts – cancer cells – in your blood. I walk to your ED gurney slowly, thinking of how to tell you this. You recognize me, too. And I can see in your eyes that you already know. “I am so sorry this is happening,” I say.

You are here for your third cycle of chemotherapy. It’s a standard check-in. The first cycle was tolerable, the second cycle was rough, and now you are exhausted. You wonder if it’s normal to be so beat up from this. You ask how much nausea is too much nausea. But your hair didn’t fall out – isn’t that strange? Is it a sure thing that it will? And, by the way, is there anything to prevent the neuropathy? You wiggle your fingers as if to emphasize the point. We go through each of your symptoms and strategize ways to make this cycle better than the last. “OK,” you conclude triumphantly. “I got this!”

It’s your 1-month follow-up and it’s time to pivot. After you were diagnosed with an aggressive triple-negative breast cancer, you met with a medical oncologist and a surgeon. Chemotherapy first, they agreed. The chemo would shrink the tumor, they said, so that it could all be scooped out with surgery. The medications were rough, but you knew it was for the best. But now it’s been two cycles and the lump in your breast is getting bigger not smaller. I ask if I may draw on your skin, promising I’ll wash it off. I gently trace the mass in pen and pull out a tape measure. Yes. It is bigger. I listen to your heart and hear it racing. “What now?” you ask.

When you saw your doctor for bloating and were told it’s not gas, actually, but stage 4 cancer, you didn’t cry. You didn’t deny it. You prepared. You called your lawyer and made a will. You contacted your job and planned for retirement. You organized your things so your children wouldn’t have to. Your oncologist recommended palliative chemotherapy as it could give you some more good days. The best case scenario would be 1 year. That was 2½ years ago. You still like to be prepared, you tell me, but that’s on the back burner now. You are busy, after all – your feet still ache from dancing all night in heels at your niece’s wedding last weekend. I pull up your latest PET scan and we look together: Again, wonderfully, everything appears stable. “See you in 3 months,” I say.



You called three times to move up this appointment because you didn’t know if you’d be alive this long. You want a second opinion. When your kidney cancer grew after surgery, two immunotherapy drugs, and a chemotherapy pill, the latest setback has been fevers up to 104 ° with drenching night sweats. They found a deep infection gnawing around the edges of your tumor, and antibiotics aren’t touching it. The only chance to stop the cancer is more chemotherapy, but that could make the infection worse and lead to a rapid demise. You can’t decide. Today, in the exam room, you are sweating. Your temperature is 101 °. Your partner is trying to keep it together, but the crumpled tissues in her hand give it away. She looks at me earnestly: “What would you do if this were your family member?”

You teach about this disease in your classes and never thought it would happen to you. It started simply enough – you were bruising. Your joints ached. Small things; odd things. The ER doctor cleverly noticed that some numbers were off in your blood counts and sent you to a hematology-oncology doctor, who then cleverly ordered a molecular blood test. It was a long shot. He didn’t really expect it to come back with chronic myeloid leukemia. But there it is, and here we are. You return to talk about treatment options. You understand in detail the biology of how they work. What you don’t know is which is best for you. I go through the four choices and unpleasant effects of each. Muscle aches; diarrhea; risk of bleeding; twice a day dosing tied to mealtimes. “Is there an Option 5?” you wonder.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

You have been in the hospital for 34 days, but who’s counting? You are. Because it has been Thirty. Four. Days. You knew the chemotherapy would suppress your blood counts. Now you know what “impaired immune system” really means. You had the bloodstream bacterial infection, requiring 2 days in the ICU. You had the invasive fungus growing in your lungs. The nurses post a calendar on your wall and kindly fill it in every day with your white blood cell count so you don’t have to ask. For days, it’s the same. Your bag stays packed – “just in case,” you explain. Your spouse diligently keeps your children – 2 and 4 years old – away, as kids are notorious germ factories. Then one Sunday morning and – finally! “Put me on speakerphone,” you tell your spouse. “Daddy is coming home!”

One of the most precious parts of hematology and oncology is the relationships. You are there not just for one difficult moment, but for the journey. I await getting to help you over the years to come. For now, I will settle for snapshots.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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Curative intent and palliative care – compatible goals?

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The first signs are always vague. Katie (not her real name) was 33 years old and loved to spend her weekends hiking. First, it was fatigue when doing elevation. Then fatigue even while walking across flat ground. One day she just sat in bed and noticed her heart racing.

One blood test, and her primary care doctor called her at home with the results. Go to the emergency room, she said. Katie’s red blood cells were dangerously low. She would need a blood transfusion.

Something was wrong, but the list of possibilities remained broad. Someone in the emergency room tossed out the word “leukemia.” Katie froze. She liked the resident who tossed out “internal bleeding” better.

This was the start of the ups and downs; the good news and bad news; the branch points that opened and closed her future.

The hematologist-oncologist came by. You need to be admitted to the hospital, and we need to do a bone marrow biopsy, she told Katie. It could be – and then the word was said again – this time by a specialist, making it all the more real: leukemia.

Katie had a few days to sit with this. The bone marrow biopsy was done. Now, what type of leukemia? She read on her computer. She knew there were lots of kinds, some better than others. Now, she was praying for a “good” cancer.

It was one of the bad ones. But.

We sent off additional molecular and genetics testing from your bone marrow, the doctor explained. This type of leukemia can be divided into three groups: high risk, standard risk, and low risk. All the signs so far point to low risk. This is good news, Katie thought.

Six days later. The final cytogenetics came back. Actually, Katie had a rare mutation that automatically put her in the high risk category. It meant she would definitely need a bone marrow transplant to be cured. Bad.

And so she underwent induction chemotherapy. The nurse posted a big calendar on her wall and filled it with her daily blood counts. The counts are dropping, Katie noted. This is good, right? It means the leukemia is responding to chemo? Yes. Good news.

Four days later. The blast count in her blood crept up. It could be anything. It could be reactive. It doesn’t necessarily mean refractory leukemia. But. It’s bad news.

In the interim, some more testing came back. You have one sister, right? Sharon? Yes, Katie confirmed. Looks like Sharon is a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant. Katie cried. Such good news.

Two weeks later the next bone marrow biopsy was done. This shows how you responded to the chemotherapy, the doctors explained. Will it be in remission? Will it be refractory? It’s in remission. Wow, good news.

But the window to transplant is small. In the few weeks to get there, another test came back. Even though the cancer is technically in remission, you have something called minimal residual disease. Meaning there are small amounts of leukemia left over. We should bridge with more chemo before transplant.

Was this good news? Bad news? Who knew anymore?

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

It’s well known in the hematology and oncology world that – even with advanced disease and poor prognoses – patients with blood cancers are less likely to see palliative care than patients with solid tumors. At conferences and in academic journals, leaders in the field expound on why this may be. One reason is the inability for most hospice agencies to offer blood transfusions. That’s certainly a big piece.

Then there’s Katie. When Katie was diagnosed, she asked me what stage her cancer was. It’s a question I hear a lot. With leukemia, I explained, we don’t think about staging the same way we do for conditions like breast cancer or prostate cancer. Since it’s in the blood, it’s stage 4 by definition, I said, but that doesn’t mean anything about prognosis. Our model of thinking is fundamentally different.

With a solid stage 4 cancer, there is generally no chance for cure. The goal is stabilization: We want to keep the cancer where it is for as long as possible. A stable CT scan, in which the disease burden is identical to 3 months before, is a success. The difference between good news and bad news is in lifespan. Receiving bad news is the difference between projecting 2 years and 6 months to live.

With a stage 4 blood cancer like Katie’s leukemia, there is generally a chance for cure. The goal is to make the cancer disappear completely and have someone live a normal lifespan. The outcomes are binary. The difference between good news and bad news is not a difference in lifespan, but a difference in probability of cure. Receiving bad news is the difference between an 80% chance of cure and a 20% chance.

Whenever I order chemotherapy, the electronic record prompts me for my intent: Is this palliative or curative intent? I always type curative intent. The intent is curative until we choose to stop pursuing cure.

Grappling with uncertainty is an enormous challenge for anyone after a diagnosis of cancer. Not knowing whether cure is even possible makes it that much more complex. The outcomes are as diverse as can be. The next branch point can literally be the difference between no more cancer and no more options.

Which raises the question, at what point – if any – should we have asked palliative care to see Katie? I wish we would have done it sooner, not because patients like Katie won’t be cured, but to help them sit with the toughest of uncertainties; prepare for it; live in it as best as possible.

As I write this, Katie is undergoing a bone marrow transplant from her sister, the match. In a few weeks she will face her next branch point – whether the transplant worked. It will move her closer or further from a cure.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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The first signs are always vague. Katie (not her real name) was 33 years old and loved to spend her weekends hiking. First, it was fatigue when doing elevation. Then fatigue even while walking across flat ground. One day she just sat in bed and noticed her heart racing.

One blood test, and her primary care doctor called her at home with the results. Go to the emergency room, she said. Katie’s red blood cells were dangerously low. She would need a blood transfusion.

Something was wrong, but the list of possibilities remained broad. Someone in the emergency room tossed out the word “leukemia.” Katie froze. She liked the resident who tossed out “internal bleeding” better.

This was the start of the ups and downs; the good news and bad news; the branch points that opened and closed her future.

The hematologist-oncologist came by. You need to be admitted to the hospital, and we need to do a bone marrow biopsy, she told Katie. It could be – and then the word was said again – this time by a specialist, making it all the more real: leukemia.

Katie had a few days to sit with this. The bone marrow biopsy was done. Now, what type of leukemia? She read on her computer. She knew there were lots of kinds, some better than others. Now, she was praying for a “good” cancer.

It was one of the bad ones. But.

We sent off additional molecular and genetics testing from your bone marrow, the doctor explained. This type of leukemia can be divided into three groups: high risk, standard risk, and low risk. All the signs so far point to low risk. This is good news, Katie thought.

Six days later. The final cytogenetics came back. Actually, Katie had a rare mutation that automatically put her in the high risk category. It meant she would definitely need a bone marrow transplant to be cured. Bad.

And so she underwent induction chemotherapy. The nurse posted a big calendar on her wall and filled it with her daily blood counts. The counts are dropping, Katie noted. This is good, right? It means the leukemia is responding to chemo? Yes. Good news.

Four days later. The blast count in her blood crept up. It could be anything. It could be reactive. It doesn’t necessarily mean refractory leukemia. But. It’s bad news.

In the interim, some more testing came back. You have one sister, right? Sharon? Yes, Katie confirmed. Looks like Sharon is a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant. Katie cried. Such good news.

Two weeks later the next bone marrow biopsy was done. This shows how you responded to the chemotherapy, the doctors explained. Will it be in remission? Will it be refractory? It’s in remission. Wow, good news.

But the window to transplant is small. In the few weeks to get there, another test came back. Even though the cancer is technically in remission, you have something called minimal residual disease. Meaning there are small amounts of leukemia left over. We should bridge with more chemo before transplant.

Was this good news? Bad news? Who knew anymore?

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

It’s well known in the hematology and oncology world that – even with advanced disease and poor prognoses – patients with blood cancers are less likely to see palliative care than patients with solid tumors. At conferences and in academic journals, leaders in the field expound on why this may be. One reason is the inability for most hospice agencies to offer blood transfusions. That’s certainly a big piece.

Then there’s Katie. When Katie was diagnosed, she asked me what stage her cancer was. It’s a question I hear a lot. With leukemia, I explained, we don’t think about staging the same way we do for conditions like breast cancer or prostate cancer. Since it’s in the blood, it’s stage 4 by definition, I said, but that doesn’t mean anything about prognosis. Our model of thinking is fundamentally different.

With a solid stage 4 cancer, there is generally no chance for cure. The goal is stabilization: We want to keep the cancer where it is for as long as possible. A stable CT scan, in which the disease burden is identical to 3 months before, is a success. The difference between good news and bad news is in lifespan. Receiving bad news is the difference between projecting 2 years and 6 months to live.

With a stage 4 blood cancer like Katie’s leukemia, there is generally a chance for cure. The goal is to make the cancer disappear completely and have someone live a normal lifespan. The outcomes are binary. The difference between good news and bad news is not a difference in lifespan, but a difference in probability of cure. Receiving bad news is the difference between an 80% chance of cure and a 20% chance.

Whenever I order chemotherapy, the electronic record prompts me for my intent: Is this palliative or curative intent? I always type curative intent. The intent is curative until we choose to stop pursuing cure.

Grappling with uncertainty is an enormous challenge for anyone after a diagnosis of cancer. Not knowing whether cure is even possible makes it that much more complex. The outcomes are as diverse as can be. The next branch point can literally be the difference between no more cancer and no more options.

Which raises the question, at what point – if any – should we have asked palliative care to see Katie? I wish we would have done it sooner, not because patients like Katie won’t be cured, but to help them sit with the toughest of uncertainties; prepare for it; live in it as best as possible.

As I write this, Katie is undergoing a bone marrow transplant from her sister, the match. In a few weeks she will face her next branch point – whether the transplant worked. It will move her closer or further from a cure.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

 

The first signs are always vague. Katie (not her real name) was 33 years old and loved to spend her weekends hiking. First, it was fatigue when doing elevation. Then fatigue even while walking across flat ground. One day she just sat in bed and noticed her heart racing.

One blood test, and her primary care doctor called her at home with the results. Go to the emergency room, she said. Katie’s red blood cells were dangerously low. She would need a blood transfusion.

Something was wrong, but the list of possibilities remained broad. Someone in the emergency room tossed out the word “leukemia.” Katie froze. She liked the resident who tossed out “internal bleeding” better.

This was the start of the ups and downs; the good news and bad news; the branch points that opened and closed her future.

The hematologist-oncologist came by. You need to be admitted to the hospital, and we need to do a bone marrow biopsy, she told Katie. It could be – and then the word was said again – this time by a specialist, making it all the more real: leukemia.

Katie had a few days to sit with this. The bone marrow biopsy was done. Now, what type of leukemia? She read on her computer. She knew there were lots of kinds, some better than others. Now, she was praying for a “good” cancer.

It was one of the bad ones. But.

We sent off additional molecular and genetics testing from your bone marrow, the doctor explained. This type of leukemia can be divided into three groups: high risk, standard risk, and low risk. All the signs so far point to low risk. This is good news, Katie thought.

Six days later. The final cytogenetics came back. Actually, Katie had a rare mutation that automatically put her in the high risk category. It meant she would definitely need a bone marrow transplant to be cured. Bad.

And so she underwent induction chemotherapy. The nurse posted a big calendar on her wall and filled it with her daily blood counts. The counts are dropping, Katie noted. This is good, right? It means the leukemia is responding to chemo? Yes. Good news.

Four days later. The blast count in her blood crept up. It could be anything. It could be reactive. It doesn’t necessarily mean refractory leukemia. But. It’s bad news.

In the interim, some more testing came back. You have one sister, right? Sharon? Yes, Katie confirmed. Looks like Sharon is a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant. Katie cried. Such good news.

Two weeks later the next bone marrow biopsy was done. This shows how you responded to the chemotherapy, the doctors explained. Will it be in remission? Will it be refractory? It’s in remission. Wow, good news.

But the window to transplant is small. In the few weeks to get there, another test came back. Even though the cancer is technically in remission, you have something called minimal residual disease. Meaning there are small amounts of leukemia left over. We should bridge with more chemo before transplant.

Was this good news? Bad news? Who knew anymore?

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

It’s well known in the hematology and oncology world that – even with advanced disease and poor prognoses – patients with blood cancers are less likely to see palliative care than patients with solid tumors. At conferences and in academic journals, leaders in the field expound on why this may be. One reason is the inability for most hospice agencies to offer blood transfusions. That’s certainly a big piece.

Then there’s Katie. When Katie was diagnosed, she asked me what stage her cancer was. It’s a question I hear a lot. With leukemia, I explained, we don’t think about staging the same way we do for conditions like breast cancer or prostate cancer. Since it’s in the blood, it’s stage 4 by definition, I said, but that doesn’t mean anything about prognosis. Our model of thinking is fundamentally different.

With a solid stage 4 cancer, there is generally no chance for cure. The goal is stabilization: We want to keep the cancer where it is for as long as possible. A stable CT scan, in which the disease burden is identical to 3 months before, is a success. The difference between good news and bad news is in lifespan. Receiving bad news is the difference between projecting 2 years and 6 months to live.

With a stage 4 blood cancer like Katie’s leukemia, there is generally a chance for cure. The goal is to make the cancer disappear completely and have someone live a normal lifespan. The outcomes are binary. The difference between good news and bad news is not a difference in lifespan, but a difference in probability of cure. Receiving bad news is the difference between an 80% chance of cure and a 20% chance.

Whenever I order chemotherapy, the electronic record prompts me for my intent: Is this palliative or curative intent? I always type curative intent. The intent is curative until we choose to stop pursuing cure.

Grappling with uncertainty is an enormous challenge for anyone after a diagnosis of cancer. Not knowing whether cure is even possible makes it that much more complex. The outcomes are as diverse as can be. The next branch point can literally be the difference between no more cancer and no more options.

Which raises the question, at what point – if any – should we have asked palliative care to see Katie? I wish we would have done it sooner, not because patients like Katie won’t be cured, but to help them sit with the toughest of uncertainties; prepare for it; live in it as best as possible.

As I write this, Katie is undergoing a bone marrow transplant from her sister, the match. In a few weeks she will face her next branch point – whether the transplant worked. It will move her closer or further from a cure.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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Illusion of options

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Changed
Fri, 08/02/2019 - 08:00

 

Mr. M wanted a second opinion. He was almost 80 years old and had been healthy his entire life. But recent abdominal discomfort prompted a CT scan, which prompted a biopsy. It appeared the tumor had started in his pancreas and then spread to the lymph nodes and the wall of his abdomen.

He asked his doctor to “give it to him straight,” and she did. She told him that it was incurable, but that chemotherapy might slow it down. He asked how long he had, and she said less than a year.

He wanted a straight answer, but that wasn’t the answer he wanted. Who would? So he did some reading and decided to come to a large academic hospital an hour away for a second opinion.

I interviewed him and then scrolled through his CT scans outside the room. There were a few things we could do, the attending and I discussed. We would send his tumor for genetic testing to see if there were any cancer mutations that could be targeted with drugs more specific than standard chemotherapy. We would also refer him to our cancer genetics clinic to get his blood tested for inherited mutations.

But mostly, all of that would likely turn up negative. Mostly, we agreed with his local oncologist.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

We went back in the room. Explaining the genetic testing took the length of the visit because this is not a straightforward concept. We explained the difference between tumor mutations and inherited mutations. We wrote down a list of genetic variations we could discover. We discussed treatment options that could go along with each.

Do you have any questions?

He broke down. He reached for the tissue box sitting on the exam room table. “I feel so much better,” he said. “This is why I came here.” He felt safe, reassured, and hopeful.

I was happy to be helpful, but later, as I wrote my clinic note about him, I felt uneasy about the visit.

Everything we said was true. But somehow, it still felt as though we left him with an overly optimistic view of his illness. Did our emphasis on what could be done overshadow that it was unlikely to change the big picture? Did our in-depth discussion of slim possibilities mask that his prognosis was, in fact, still grim?

Working at a large academic medical center, I see many patients who come for a second opinion. I’m incredibly fortunate to learn at a place that is not just up to date in the most cutting-edge treatments but often leading in innovation.

And so we offer patients these options. They sound novel and exciting. They fill patients with hope because they fill the field with hope. I, too, get enraptured with the possibilities – circulating tumor DNA and clinical trials and targeted therapies.

At big cancer meetings every year, oncologists come together and speak about cancer therapies with enthusiasm and hope. Advances have exploded; it’s an exciting time to be learning and practicing.

And yet, the reality for many patients is very different. We are still discussing hospice after one line of chemotherapy has failed. We are still gently holding hands and saying that we have no more options to treat their aggressive cancers.

How can both of these worlds coexist? How can both be true?

A few years ago, a friend was diagnosed with a devastating neurologic condition. I went to a clinical trials website and typed in her disease. Immediately, hundreds of options popped up. I felt hopeful. The field is moving forward, I thought. There are options.

But in the exam room, there were none. When I asked about what I had read, the neurologist explained how many of these possibilities were being investigated. But in the end, my friend really had no good options.

After my visit with Mr. M, I thought about how commonly this story plays out in my field of hematology and oncology. Yes, there are instances in which we find a mutation that drastically changes management. It’s wonderful to witness: patients handed an ominous diagnosis and then living their normal lives, in remission or with stable disease, years later.

We all hope for that. But we rarely get it. The challenge comes when we spend 95% of a visit talking about something with a 1% chance of working. The numbers don’t add up – it’s an equation that easily results in false understanding. Cancer can be glossed with a veneer of innovative options, obscuring the reality that none are likely to work.

Weaving both truths into the conversation is a difficult skill, but one I decided to be more cognizant of after my encounter with Mr. M.

At our next visit, we were still waiting on the test results. But I decided to speak with him candidly. It’s important to have a plan B, I said, and asked what would be important to him if his time were limited. He nodded, thinking about this. “I’ve just been holding out hope for the mutation,” he admitted.

The next week his genetic testing came back negative, and he decided to get palliative chemotherapy closer to home. He had no reason to come to a large academic hospital anymore. With nothing special to offer him, I never saw him again.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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Mr. M wanted a second opinion. He was almost 80 years old and had been healthy his entire life. But recent abdominal discomfort prompted a CT scan, which prompted a biopsy. It appeared the tumor had started in his pancreas and then spread to the lymph nodes and the wall of his abdomen.

He asked his doctor to “give it to him straight,” and she did. She told him that it was incurable, but that chemotherapy might slow it down. He asked how long he had, and she said less than a year.

He wanted a straight answer, but that wasn’t the answer he wanted. Who would? So he did some reading and decided to come to a large academic hospital an hour away for a second opinion.

I interviewed him and then scrolled through his CT scans outside the room. There were a few things we could do, the attending and I discussed. We would send his tumor for genetic testing to see if there were any cancer mutations that could be targeted with drugs more specific than standard chemotherapy. We would also refer him to our cancer genetics clinic to get his blood tested for inherited mutations.

But mostly, all of that would likely turn up negative. Mostly, we agreed with his local oncologist.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

We went back in the room. Explaining the genetic testing took the length of the visit because this is not a straightforward concept. We explained the difference between tumor mutations and inherited mutations. We wrote down a list of genetic variations we could discover. We discussed treatment options that could go along with each.

Do you have any questions?

He broke down. He reached for the tissue box sitting on the exam room table. “I feel so much better,” he said. “This is why I came here.” He felt safe, reassured, and hopeful.

I was happy to be helpful, but later, as I wrote my clinic note about him, I felt uneasy about the visit.

Everything we said was true. But somehow, it still felt as though we left him with an overly optimistic view of his illness. Did our emphasis on what could be done overshadow that it was unlikely to change the big picture? Did our in-depth discussion of slim possibilities mask that his prognosis was, in fact, still grim?

Working at a large academic medical center, I see many patients who come for a second opinion. I’m incredibly fortunate to learn at a place that is not just up to date in the most cutting-edge treatments but often leading in innovation.

And so we offer patients these options. They sound novel and exciting. They fill patients with hope because they fill the field with hope. I, too, get enraptured with the possibilities – circulating tumor DNA and clinical trials and targeted therapies.

At big cancer meetings every year, oncologists come together and speak about cancer therapies with enthusiasm and hope. Advances have exploded; it’s an exciting time to be learning and practicing.

And yet, the reality for many patients is very different. We are still discussing hospice after one line of chemotherapy has failed. We are still gently holding hands and saying that we have no more options to treat their aggressive cancers.

How can both of these worlds coexist? How can both be true?

A few years ago, a friend was diagnosed with a devastating neurologic condition. I went to a clinical trials website and typed in her disease. Immediately, hundreds of options popped up. I felt hopeful. The field is moving forward, I thought. There are options.

But in the exam room, there were none. When I asked about what I had read, the neurologist explained how many of these possibilities were being investigated. But in the end, my friend really had no good options.

After my visit with Mr. M, I thought about how commonly this story plays out in my field of hematology and oncology. Yes, there are instances in which we find a mutation that drastically changes management. It’s wonderful to witness: patients handed an ominous diagnosis and then living their normal lives, in remission or with stable disease, years later.

We all hope for that. But we rarely get it. The challenge comes when we spend 95% of a visit talking about something with a 1% chance of working. The numbers don’t add up – it’s an equation that easily results in false understanding. Cancer can be glossed with a veneer of innovative options, obscuring the reality that none are likely to work.

Weaving both truths into the conversation is a difficult skill, but one I decided to be more cognizant of after my encounter with Mr. M.

At our next visit, we were still waiting on the test results. But I decided to speak with him candidly. It’s important to have a plan B, I said, and asked what would be important to him if his time were limited. He nodded, thinking about this. “I’ve just been holding out hope for the mutation,” he admitted.

The next week his genetic testing came back negative, and he decided to get palliative chemotherapy closer to home. He had no reason to come to a large academic hospital anymore. With nothing special to offer him, I never saw him again.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

 

Mr. M wanted a second opinion. He was almost 80 years old and had been healthy his entire life. But recent abdominal discomfort prompted a CT scan, which prompted a biopsy. It appeared the tumor had started in his pancreas and then spread to the lymph nodes and the wall of his abdomen.

He asked his doctor to “give it to him straight,” and she did. She told him that it was incurable, but that chemotherapy might slow it down. He asked how long he had, and she said less than a year.

He wanted a straight answer, but that wasn’t the answer he wanted. Who would? So he did some reading and decided to come to a large academic hospital an hour away for a second opinion.

I interviewed him and then scrolled through his CT scans outside the room. There were a few things we could do, the attending and I discussed. We would send his tumor for genetic testing to see if there were any cancer mutations that could be targeted with drugs more specific than standard chemotherapy. We would also refer him to our cancer genetics clinic to get his blood tested for inherited mutations.

But mostly, all of that would likely turn up negative. Mostly, we agreed with his local oncologist.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

We went back in the room. Explaining the genetic testing took the length of the visit because this is not a straightforward concept. We explained the difference between tumor mutations and inherited mutations. We wrote down a list of genetic variations we could discover. We discussed treatment options that could go along with each.

Do you have any questions?

He broke down. He reached for the tissue box sitting on the exam room table. “I feel so much better,” he said. “This is why I came here.” He felt safe, reassured, and hopeful.

I was happy to be helpful, but later, as I wrote my clinic note about him, I felt uneasy about the visit.

Everything we said was true. But somehow, it still felt as though we left him with an overly optimistic view of his illness. Did our emphasis on what could be done overshadow that it was unlikely to change the big picture? Did our in-depth discussion of slim possibilities mask that his prognosis was, in fact, still grim?

Working at a large academic medical center, I see many patients who come for a second opinion. I’m incredibly fortunate to learn at a place that is not just up to date in the most cutting-edge treatments but often leading in innovation.

And so we offer patients these options. They sound novel and exciting. They fill patients with hope because they fill the field with hope. I, too, get enraptured with the possibilities – circulating tumor DNA and clinical trials and targeted therapies.

At big cancer meetings every year, oncologists come together and speak about cancer therapies with enthusiasm and hope. Advances have exploded; it’s an exciting time to be learning and practicing.

And yet, the reality for many patients is very different. We are still discussing hospice after one line of chemotherapy has failed. We are still gently holding hands and saying that we have no more options to treat their aggressive cancers.

How can both of these worlds coexist? How can both be true?

A few years ago, a friend was diagnosed with a devastating neurologic condition. I went to a clinical trials website and typed in her disease. Immediately, hundreds of options popped up. I felt hopeful. The field is moving forward, I thought. There are options.

But in the exam room, there were none. When I asked about what I had read, the neurologist explained how many of these possibilities were being investigated. But in the end, my friend really had no good options.

After my visit with Mr. M, I thought about how commonly this story plays out in my field of hematology and oncology. Yes, there are instances in which we find a mutation that drastically changes management. It’s wonderful to witness: patients handed an ominous diagnosis and then living their normal lives, in remission or with stable disease, years later.

We all hope for that. But we rarely get it. The challenge comes when we spend 95% of a visit talking about something with a 1% chance of working. The numbers don’t add up – it’s an equation that easily results in false understanding. Cancer can be glossed with a veneer of innovative options, obscuring the reality that none are likely to work.

Weaving both truths into the conversation is a difficult skill, but one I decided to be more cognizant of after my encounter with Mr. M.

At our next visit, we were still waiting on the test results. But I decided to speak with him candidly. It’s important to have a plan B, I said, and asked what would be important to him if his time were limited. He nodded, thinking about this. “I’ve just been holding out hope for the mutation,” he admitted.

The next week his genetic testing came back negative, and he decided to get palliative chemotherapy closer to home. He had no reason to come to a large academic hospital anymore. With nothing special to offer him, I never saw him again.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz and listen to her each week on the Blood & Cancer podcast.

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Whose needs come first – the patient’s or the trial’s?

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Changed
Mon, 07/01/2019 - 08:00

 

Debra Banks (not her real name) had hope. There was a clinical trial open at an academic hospital 200 miles from where she lived. She would commute or find local housing. It would cost her, but this is what her savings were for, she reasoned. What expense could be more important than her life?

Next came the tests. Blood tests, an ultrasound of her heart, breathing tests. She gave vials of blood, lay in scanners, and eagerly jumped through every hoop placed before her. Then came the call from the trial coordinator. Her heart ultrasound showed a mild dysfunction in how it pumped. It excluded her from the trial.

“Not eligible.” The two words that took away everything reverberated in her mind. Her heart had never caused her any problems before. So after the shock wore off, she tried to bargain with the trial coordinator: Had the study drug been shown to cause or worsen heart damage? Could they repeat the ultrasound? Did this blip in her heart function really matter?

When the trial coordinator couldn’t answer all these questions, she encouraged Debra to come into the clinic and talk to the doctors directly. That’s where I met her.

Debra found herself in the middle of a painful crossroads she had no interest being in. What happens when the needs of an individual patient and the needs of medical research are at odds? From Debra’s perspective, she had one goal. She wanted the therapy that would give her the best chance of living.

But the aim of the trial was not to help Debra – not directly, at least. Clinical trials help patient populations. The goal is to add to a body of knowledge: To study new therapies, demonstrate safety and efficacy, and ultimately find better treatments. The bulk of benefit goes to future patients, not individual participants. If an individual participant does benefit, all the better. But this is a bonus, not a requirement.

In order to meet these goals, trials come with inclusion and exclusion criteria. These are often strict. Individuals with certain other medical conditions are frequently excluded, as the person needs to be able to tolerate the toxicities of the drug being tested.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

This, of course, is very different from our usual approach to patient care. Outside of trials, the needs of the individual patient are our North Star. Instead of inclusion and exclusion criteria, we have guidelines: general goalposts that hint at the right answer, but are able to be bent based on individual circumstances. It’s something I love about medicine. Part science, part art. Part algorithmic, part creative.

I can give chemotherapy to a patient with a low platelet count, if I think it’s best. I can override an elevated bilirubin. I can simply not check a heart ultrasound in the first place, if I don’t believe it will change my management.

I understand why trial criteria exist. I fully support investing in novel therapies that will help future patients on a large scale. There will invariably be individuals for whom a clinical trial is unsafe or inappropriate for a multitude of reasons, and our job as oncologists is to make that call and convey that news.

Still, that can be hard to square with the human being sitting in front of you. Debra was only in her mid-50s. She was an artist, an educator, a parent. She was a person who was so, so not ready to die. That she would because of a glitch in her heart function – the significance of which nobody knew – was excruciating.

While we can’t enroll every patient in every trial, the least we can do is comb through trial criteria thoughtfully. With the role of clinical investigator comes great responsibility. Are we choosing a cutoff because it makes clinical sense – or because that’s how it was done before? Is there a medical justification behind each and every exclusion criterion? A careless cutoff is not just a line on a protocol. It can be the difference between someone’s last hope – and no more options.

Every time I saw Debra in clinic, she asked about the trial. Then one day she stopped asking. She was distracted by more pressing problems. Her breathing had worsened and her energy levels were so low she could hardly get out of bed. Debra became sicker and sicker until she could no longer request the last hope that might make her better.

A wonderful physician-scientist I worked with once said she split her time between patient care and medical research because they complement each other. Whenever she lost a patient, she turned that pain into motivation to delve deeper into her research. She coped with individual loss by helping to make small, incremental improvements for the needs of many.

I think about this, months later, as I look around the empty exam room where I first met Debra. I imagine a roomful of patients, alive and healthy, for whom the research she was excluded from has benefited.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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Debra Banks (not her real name) had hope. There was a clinical trial open at an academic hospital 200 miles from where she lived. She would commute or find local housing. It would cost her, but this is what her savings were for, she reasoned. What expense could be more important than her life?

Next came the tests. Blood tests, an ultrasound of her heart, breathing tests. She gave vials of blood, lay in scanners, and eagerly jumped through every hoop placed before her. Then came the call from the trial coordinator. Her heart ultrasound showed a mild dysfunction in how it pumped. It excluded her from the trial.

“Not eligible.” The two words that took away everything reverberated in her mind. Her heart had never caused her any problems before. So after the shock wore off, she tried to bargain with the trial coordinator: Had the study drug been shown to cause or worsen heart damage? Could they repeat the ultrasound? Did this blip in her heart function really matter?

When the trial coordinator couldn’t answer all these questions, she encouraged Debra to come into the clinic and talk to the doctors directly. That’s where I met her.

Debra found herself in the middle of a painful crossroads she had no interest being in. What happens when the needs of an individual patient and the needs of medical research are at odds? From Debra’s perspective, she had one goal. She wanted the therapy that would give her the best chance of living.

But the aim of the trial was not to help Debra – not directly, at least. Clinical trials help patient populations. The goal is to add to a body of knowledge: To study new therapies, demonstrate safety and efficacy, and ultimately find better treatments. The bulk of benefit goes to future patients, not individual participants. If an individual participant does benefit, all the better. But this is a bonus, not a requirement.

In order to meet these goals, trials come with inclusion and exclusion criteria. These are often strict. Individuals with certain other medical conditions are frequently excluded, as the person needs to be able to tolerate the toxicities of the drug being tested.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

This, of course, is very different from our usual approach to patient care. Outside of trials, the needs of the individual patient are our North Star. Instead of inclusion and exclusion criteria, we have guidelines: general goalposts that hint at the right answer, but are able to be bent based on individual circumstances. It’s something I love about medicine. Part science, part art. Part algorithmic, part creative.

I can give chemotherapy to a patient with a low platelet count, if I think it’s best. I can override an elevated bilirubin. I can simply not check a heart ultrasound in the first place, if I don’t believe it will change my management.

I understand why trial criteria exist. I fully support investing in novel therapies that will help future patients on a large scale. There will invariably be individuals for whom a clinical trial is unsafe or inappropriate for a multitude of reasons, and our job as oncologists is to make that call and convey that news.

Still, that can be hard to square with the human being sitting in front of you. Debra was only in her mid-50s. She was an artist, an educator, a parent. She was a person who was so, so not ready to die. That she would because of a glitch in her heart function – the significance of which nobody knew – was excruciating.

While we can’t enroll every patient in every trial, the least we can do is comb through trial criteria thoughtfully. With the role of clinical investigator comes great responsibility. Are we choosing a cutoff because it makes clinical sense – or because that’s how it was done before? Is there a medical justification behind each and every exclusion criterion? A careless cutoff is not just a line on a protocol. It can be the difference between someone’s last hope – and no more options.

Every time I saw Debra in clinic, she asked about the trial. Then one day she stopped asking. She was distracted by more pressing problems. Her breathing had worsened and her energy levels were so low she could hardly get out of bed. Debra became sicker and sicker until she could no longer request the last hope that might make her better.

A wonderful physician-scientist I worked with once said she split her time between patient care and medical research because they complement each other. Whenever she lost a patient, she turned that pain into motivation to delve deeper into her research. She coped with individual loss by helping to make small, incremental improvements for the needs of many.

I think about this, months later, as I look around the empty exam room where I first met Debra. I imagine a roomful of patients, alive and healthy, for whom the research she was excluded from has benefited.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

 

Debra Banks (not her real name) had hope. There was a clinical trial open at an academic hospital 200 miles from where she lived. She would commute or find local housing. It would cost her, but this is what her savings were for, she reasoned. What expense could be more important than her life?

Next came the tests. Blood tests, an ultrasound of her heart, breathing tests. She gave vials of blood, lay in scanners, and eagerly jumped through every hoop placed before her. Then came the call from the trial coordinator. Her heart ultrasound showed a mild dysfunction in how it pumped. It excluded her from the trial.

“Not eligible.” The two words that took away everything reverberated in her mind. Her heart had never caused her any problems before. So after the shock wore off, she tried to bargain with the trial coordinator: Had the study drug been shown to cause or worsen heart damage? Could they repeat the ultrasound? Did this blip in her heart function really matter?

When the trial coordinator couldn’t answer all these questions, she encouraged Debra to come into the clinic and talk to the doctors directly. That’s where I met her.

Debra found herself in the middle of a painful crossroads she had no interest being in. What happens when the needs of an individual patient and the needs of medical research are at odds? From Debra’s perspective, she had one goal. She wanted the therapy that would give her the best chance of living.

But the aim of the trial was not to help Debra – not directly, at least. Clinical trials help patient populations. The goal is to add to a body of knowledge: To study new therapies, demonstrate safety and efficacy, and ultimately find better treatments. The bulk of benefit goes to future patients, not individual participants. If an individual participant does benefit, all the better. But this is a bonus, not a requirement.

In order to meet these goals, trials come with inclusion and exclusion criteria. These are often strict. Individuals with certain other medical conditions are frequently excluded, as the person needs to be able to tolerate the toxicities of the drug being tested.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

This, of course, is very different from our usual approach to patient care. Outside of trials, the needs of the individual patient are our North Star. Instead of inclusion and exclusion criteria, we have guidelines: general goalposts that hint at the right answer, but are able to be bent based on individual circumstances. It’s something I love about medicine. Part science, part art. Part algorithmic, part creative.

I can give chemotherapy to a patient with a low platelet count, if I think it’s best. I can override an elevated bilirubin. I can simply not check a heart ultrasound in the first place, if I don’t believe it will change my management.

I understand why trial criteria exist. I fully support investing in novel therapies that will help future patients on a large scale. There will invariably be individuals for whom a clinical trial is unsafe or inappropriate for a multitude of reasons, and our job as oncologists is to make that call and convey that news.

Still, that can be hard to square with the human being sitting in front of you. Debra was only in her mid-50s. She was an artist, an educator, a parent. She was a person who was so, so not ready to die. That she would because of a glitch in her heart function – the significance of which nobody knew – was excruciating.

While we can’t enroll every patient in every trial, the least we can do is comb through trial criteria thoughtfully. With the role of clinical investigator comes great responsibility. Are we choosing a cutoff because it makes clinical sense – or because that’s how it was done before? Is there a medical justification behind each and every exclusion criterion? A careless cutoff is not just a line on a protocol. It can be the difference between someone’s last hope – and no more options.

Every time I saw Debra in clinic, she asked about the trial. Then one day she stopped asking. She was distracted by more pressing problems. Her breathing had worsened and her energy levels were so low she could hardly get out of bed. Debra became sicker and sicker until she could no longer request the last hope that might make her better.

A wonderful physician-scientist I worked with once said she split her time between patient care and medical research because they complement each other. Whenever she lost a patient, she turned that pain into motivation to delve deeper into her research. She coped with individual loss by helping to make small, incremental improvements for the needs of many.

I think about this, months later, as I look around the empty exam room where I first met Debra. I imagine a roomful of patients, alive and healthy, for whom the research she was excluded from has benefited.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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Dear Marisol

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Changed
Sun, 06/02/2019 - 08:00

I know you don’t remember me. We met when you were just a baby. Now that you’re older, I want to tell you a story about your mom you may not know.

When your mom became pregnant with you, it was a joyous occasion. But strange things started to happen. Your mom noticed that she was bleeding into the toilet bowl. She was told pregnancy would make her gain weight, but the opposite was happening. By her second trimester, her maternity clothes were so baggy she had to exchange them.

She went to see a gastroenterologist and told him about the bleeding. He looked at her pregnant belly, ordered no additional tests, and said he would look into the bleeding if it persisted after her pregnancy.

But that was 5 months away. In the meantime, her symptoms got worse. As you probably know by now, your mom is proactive. She sought a second opinion and then a third. Three different gastroenterologists dismissed your mom. The visits were brief; as soon as each doctor noticed she was pregnant, each deferred dealing with her – even though rectal bleeding and weight loss are in no way explained by pregnancy. Even though a colonoscopy could absolutely be safely performed during pregnancy.

A few months later, she gave birth to you. You were a healthy baby and she and your dad cried. They were so happy to meet you.

The next day, your dad stayed with you while the doctors performed a colonoscopy on your mom. To everyone’s horror, the camera saw a huge colon tumor. While the gastroenterologists had been reassuring her during her pregnancy, the tumor was gnawing through the wall of her colon and invading nearby organs.

She was wheeled on a gurney from the maternity unit to oncology. That’s where I met her.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

She asked a lot of good questions, none of which we could answer. Her heart rate was in the 140s, and she developed fevers. Her cancer put her at risk for a serious infection called an abscess, and it took the option of chemotherapy off the table.

We went back and forth on what to do. We got lots of experts involved, and we went through the possibilities. We realized something terrible. There was no cure anymore. There were only trade-offs.

I will never forget the meeting between all of these doctors, your mom, and a Spanish interpreter. We gave your mom a best case scenario: 1 year.

Holding her necklace cross in one hand and your dad’s hand in the other, she repeated something over and over. The interpreter couldn’t hold back tears as she translated in a soft voice: “Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die.”

We were all working so hard, doing our best to find a way out for her. Meanwhile, you stayed in the newborn nursery near the maternity ward. Every day your mom would go back and forth between oncology and the nursery to hold you.

Finally, we proceeded with surgery. It was an enormous, delicate, risky operation that took more than 10 hours. There were colorectal surgeons, urologists, and gynecologic oncologists. They scooped out not only the tumor but also your mom’s uterus, her ovaries, her bladder, and part of the abdominal wall. There was just so much cancer.

But your mom made it through the operation. Two days later, she married your dad in her hospital room while a nurse held you. She called it the best day of her life.

But we were still so worried. Everyone in the oncology unit had grown to love your mom, and we knew this was not a permanent fix. She was discharged from the hospital to rehab to get stronger. The plan was to see her in clinic and consider chemotherapy.

I usually keep a list of patients I want to follow even after I’m no longer their doctor. With your mom, I couldn’t put her on any list. It was too personal; I was too invested. I knew what the outcome would be, and I couldn’t bear to see it.

I never forgot your mom though. I decided to become an oncologist, and I thought about her when I met patients, especially young women, who had been dismissed by other doctors. I vowed to be the change as I listened to them and diagnosed them and treated them. I vowed to be a part of the system that would do better.

One day, 3 years after I met your mom, I was rotating in a colon cancer clinic and looked at the schedule. I recognized a name. Was it possible? It had to be someone with the same name. Could it really be your mom?

It was. By this time, she had finished chemotherapy. The goal was to keep the cancer from growing, but it somehow did more than that. Throughout your mom’s entire body, the cancer was gone. Her stoma was reversed, and she had gained back all the weight she lost. You were there too, defying instructions telling you not to touch the medical equipment. You hugged your mom’s leg as she made plans for a routine follow-up in 6 months.

I want you to know this story about your mom because, for the rest of your life, people will tell you what to think and how to feel. They will think it’s their business to tell you when to be worried, they will talk like they know better, and they will try to make you feel small for speaking up. I don’t have a perfect solution for all of this, except to say: Don’t let them.

But I’m not worried about you. If you grow up to be anything like your mom, you will be okay.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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I know you don’t remember me. We met when you were just a baby. Now that you’re older, I want to tell you a story about your mom you may not know.

When your mom became pregnant with you, it was a joyous occasion. But strange things started to happen. Your mom noticed that she was bleeding into the toilet bowl. She was told pregnancy would make her gain weight, but the opposite was happening. By her second trimester, her maternity clothes were so baggy she had to exchange them.

She went to see a gastroenterologist and told him about the bleeding. He looked at her pregnant belly, ordered no additional tests, and said he would look into the bleeding if it persisted after her pregnancy.

But that was 5 months away. In the meantime, her symptoms got worse. As you probably know by now, your mom is proactive. She sought a second opinion and then a third. Three different gastroenterologists dismissed your mom. The visits were brief; as soon as each doctor noticed she was pregnant, each deferred dealing with her – even though rectal bleeding and weight loss are in no way explained by pregnancy. Even though a colonoscopy could absolutely be safely performed during pregnancy.

A few months later, she gave birth to you. You were a healthy baby and she and your dad cried. They were so happy to meet you.

The next day, your dad stayed with you while the doctors performed a colonoscopy on your mom. To everyone’s horror, the camera saw a huge colon tumor. While the gastroenterologists had been reassuring her during her pregnancy, the tumor was gnawing through the wall of her colon and invading nearby organs.

She was wheeled on a gurney from the maternity unit to oncology. That’s where I met her.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz is a fellow at Stanford (Calif.) University.
Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

She asked a lot of good questions, none of which we could answer. Her heart rate was in the 140s, and she developed fevers. Her cancer put her at risk for a serious infection called an abscess, and it took the option of chemotherapy off the table.

We went back and forth on what to do. We got lots of experts involved, and we went through the possibilities. We realized something terrible. There was no cure anymore. There were only trade-offs.

I will never forget the meeting between all of these doctors, your mom, and a Spanish interpreter. We gave your mom a best case scenario: 1 year.

Holding her necklace cross in one hand and your dad’s hand in the other, she repeated something over and over. The interpreter couldn’t hold back tears as she translated in a soft voice: “Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die.”

We were all working so hard, doing our best to find a way out for her. Meanwhile, you stayed in the newborn nursery near the maternity ward. Every day your mom would go back and forth between oncology and the nursery to hold you.

Finally, we proceeded with surgery. It was an enormous, delicate, risky operation that took more than 10 hours. There were colorectal surgeons, urologists, and gynecologic oncologists. They scooped out not only the tumor but also your mom’s uterus, her ovaries, her bladder, and part of the abdominal wall. There was just so much cancer.

But your mom made it through the operation. Two days later, she married your dad in her hospital room while a nurse held you. She called it the best day of her life.

But we were still so worried. Everyone in the oncology unit had grown to love your mom, and we knew this was not a permanent fix. She was discharged from the hospital to rehab to get stronger. The plan was to see her in clinic and consider chemotherapy.

I usually keep a list of patients I want to follow even after I’m no longer their doctor. With your mom, I couldn’t put her on any list. It was too personal; I was too invested. I knew what the outcome would be, and I couldn’t bear to see it.

I never forgot your mom though. I decided to become an oncologist, and I thought about her when I met patients, especially young women, who had been dismissed by other doctors. I vowed to be the change as I listened to them and diagnosed them and treated them. I vowed to be a part of the system that would do better.

One day, 3 years after I met your mom, I was rotating in a colon cancer clinic and looked at the schedule. I recognized a name. Was it possible? It had to be someone with the same name. Could it really be your mom?

It was. By this time, she had finished chemotherapy. The goal was to keep the cancer from growing, but it somehow did more than that. Throughout your mom’s entire body, the cancer was gone. Her stoma was reversed, and she had gained back all the weight she lost. You were there too, defying instructions telling you not to touch the medical equipment. You hugged your mom’s leg as she made plans for a routine follow-up in 6 months.

I want you to know this story about your mom because, for the rest of your life, people will tell you what to think and how to feel. They will think it’s their business to tell you when to be worried, they will talk like they know better, and they will try to make you feel small for speaking up. I don’t have a perfect solution for all of this, except to say: Don’t let them.

But I’m not worried about you. If you grow up to be anything like your mom, you will be okay.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

I know you don’t remember me. We met when you were just a baby. Now that you’re older, I want to tell you a story about your mom you may not know.

When your mom became pregnant with you, it was a joyous occasion. But strange things started to happen. Your mom noticed that she was bleeding into the toilet bowl. She was told pregnancy would make her gain weight, but the opposite was happening. By her second trimester, her maternity clothes were so baggy she had to exchange them.

She went to see a gastroenterologist and told him about the bleeding. He looked at her pregnant belly, ordered no additional tests, and said he would look into the bleeding if it persisted after her pregnancy.

But that was 5 months away. In the meantime, her symptoms got worse. As you probably know by now, your mom is proactive. She sought a second opinion and then a third. Three different gastroenterologists dismissed your mom. The visits were brief; as soon as each doctor noticed she was pregnant, each deferred dealing with her – even though rectal bleeding and weight loss are in no way explained by pregnancy. Even though a colonoscopy could absolutely be safely performed during pregnancy.

A few months later, she gave birth to you. You were a healthy baby and she and your dad cried. They were so happy to meet you.

The next day, your dad stayed with you while the doctors performed a colonoscopy on your mom. To everyone’s horror, the camera saw a huge colon tumor. While the gastroenterologists had been reassuring her during her pregnancy, the tumor was gnawing through the wall of her colon and invading nearby organs.

She was wheeled on a gurney from the maternity unit to oncology. That’s where I met her.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

She asked a lot of good questions, none of which we could answer. Her heart rate was in the 140s, and she developed fevers. Her cancer put her at risk for a serious infection called an abscess, and it took the option of chemotherapy off the table.

We went back and forth on what to do. We got lots of experts involved, and we went through the possibilities. We realized something terrible. There was no cure anymore. There were only trade-offs.

I will never forget the meeting between all of these doctors, your mom, and a Spanish interpreter. We gave your mom a best case scenario: 1 year.

Holding her necklace cross in one hand and your dad’s hand in the other, she repeated something over and over. The interpreter couldn’t hold back tears as she translated in a soft voice: “Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die. Please don’t let me die.”

We were all working so hard, doing our best to find a way out for her. Meanwhile, you stayed in the newborn nursery near the maternity ward. Every day your mom would go back and forth between oncology and the nursery to hold you.

Finally, we proceeded with surgery. It was an enormous, delicate, risky operation that took more than 10 hours. There were colorectal surgeons, urologists, and gynecologic oncologists. They scooped out not only the tumor but also your mom’s uterus, her ovaries, her bladder, and part of the abdominal wall. There was just so much cancer.

But your mom made it through the operation. Two days later, she married your dad in her hospital room while a nurse held you. She called it the best day of her life.

But we were still so worried. Everyone in the oncology unit had grown to love your mom, and we knew this was not a permanent fix. She was discharged from the hospital to rehab to get stronger. The plan was to see her in clinic and consider chemotherapy.

I usually keep a list of patients I want to follow even after I’m no longer their doctor. With your mom, I couldn’t put her on any list. It was too personal; I was too invested. I knew what the outcome would be, and I couldn’t bear to see it.

I never forgot your mom though. I decided to become an oncologist, and I thought about her when I met patients, especially young women, who had been dismissed by other doctors. I vowed to be the change as I listened to them and diagnosed them and treated them. I vowed to be a part of the system that would do better.

One day, 3 years after I met your mom, I was rotating in a colon cancer clinic and looked at the schedule. I recognized a name. Was it possible? It had to be someone with the same name. Could it really be your mom?

It was. By this time, she had finished chemotherapy. The goal was to keep the cancer from growing, but it somehow did more than that. Throughout your mom’s entire body, the cancer was gone. Her stoma was reversed, and she had gained back all the weight she lost. You were there too, defying instructions telling you not to touch the medical equipment. You hugged your mom’s leg as she made plans for a routine follow-up in 6 months.

I want you to know this story about your mom because, for the rest of your life, people will tell you what to think and how to feel. They will think it’s their business to tell you when to be worried, they will talk like they know better, and they will try to make you feel small for speaking up. I don’t have a perfect solution for all of this, except to say: Don’t let them.

But I’m not worried about you. If you grow up to be anything like your mom, you will be okay.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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Blast crisis, no crisis? Caring for the apathetic patient

Article Type
Changed
Thu, 05/02/2019 - 08:00

 

The diagnosis was straightforward. My patient’s reaction was not.

One Saturday evening, I receive a call from the emergency room about a man with a very high white blood cell count. For the past 7 years, he had chronic myeloid leukemia – a cancer, but one of the few that can be well controlled for years. The discovery of the medications that can do it revolutionized care for the disease.

For the last 7 years, Mr. C didn’t take that medication regularly. He was young, with no other medical problems, and this was the only medication he was supposed to take. But his use was sporadic at best.

What was it, I wondered? Cost? Side effects? Not understanding the seriousness of having leukemia? No, the medication was fully covered by his insurance. No, he tolerated it well. Instead, his on-and-off medication schedule came across as a strange sense of apathy. He didn’t seem to recognize his agency in his own life.

Now, not only is his white count extremely high, but the majority are the cancerous cells. I look at his blood under the microscope – blasts everywhere. He has progressed from a chronic, indolent disease that can be kept at bay into the dreaded blast crisis, which is essentially an acute leukemia but even more challenging to treat.

It is very serious. I tell him this. “I am worried your leukemia has progressed into what we call a blast crisis,” I say. “Has anyone ever talked to you about this before?”

“Hmm, I think Dr. M may have said something,” he says. His medical chart over the last 7 years was populated with notes from his hematologist documenting their discussions of this possibility.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

“This is serious,” I continue. “You will need to come into the hospital and we need to start medication to lower your white count. Otherwise you could have a stroke.”

“Okay.”

“As the white count comes down, your cells will break open and the chemicals in them can make you very sick. So we will have to check your blood often to watch for this.”

“Got it.”

“And we will change your chemotherapy pill.” I pause, letting it sink in, then repeat for emphasis: “This is very serious.”

“Sure thing, Doc.”

“I know I’ve said a lot. What are your thoughts?”

He looks at his wife, then back at me. He seems unfazed. Just as unfazed as when his hematologist warned this could happen. Just as unfazed as the day he learned his diagnosis.

He smiles and shrugs. “What will be, will be.”

As I listened to him, I honestly couldn’t tell if this was the best coping mechanism I had ever seen or the worst.

On one hand, his apathy had hurt him, clearly and indisputably. Refusing to acknowledge his agency in his medical outcomes allowed him to be cavalier about taking the cure. The cure was in a bottle on his kitchen shelf, an arm’s reach away, and he chose to reach elsewhere.

On the other hand, it was unusual to see someone so at peace with being so critically ill. His acceptance of his new reality was refreshing. There were no heartbreaking questions about whether this was his fault. There was no agonizing over what could have been. His apathy gave him closure and his loved ones comfort.

I’ve written before about how a cancer diagnosis involves holding two seemingly competing ideas in one’s mind at once. Last month, I wrote about how it is possible to be realistic about a grim prognosis while retaining hope that a treatment may work. I discussed that realism and hopefulness are compatible beliefs, and it’s okay – preferred, even – to hold them at once.

Mr. C’s strange sense of apathy made me think about another mental limbo, this one involving control. As doctors and patients, we like when we have agency over outcomes. Take these medications, and you will be okay. Undergo this procedure, and you will reduce your risk of recurrence. At the same time, poor outcomes still occur when everything is done “right.” When that happens, it can be psychologically beneficial to relinquish control. Doing so discards the unhelpful emotions of guilt and blame in favor of acceptance.

Mr. C’s apathy seemed to be present from day 1. But now, in a dire blast crisis, what was once a harmful attitude actually became a helpful one.

His “what will be, will be” attitude wasn’t inherently maladaptive; it was ill timed. Under the right circumstances, well-placed apathy can be leveraged as a positive coping mechanism.

But alas, if only there were a switch to turn on the right emotion at the right time. There’s no right or wrong or sensible reaction to cancer. There’s only a swirl of messy, overwhelming feelings. It’s trying to bring effective emotions to light at the right time while playing whack-a-mole with the others. It’s cognitive dissonance. It’s exhausting. Cancer doesn’t create personalities; it surfaces them.

It’s the last day of Mr. C’s hospitalization. His blast crisis is amazingly under good control.

“So,” I say. “Will you take your medications now?”

“Sure,” he says instinctively. I look at him. “I mean, honestly, Doc? I’m not sure.”

As we shake hands, I wonder if I’ll ever truly understand Mr. C’s motivations. But I can’t wonder too long. I can only control my part: I hand him his medications and wish him luck.

Minor details of this story were changed to protect privacy.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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The diagnosis was straightforward. My patient’s reaction was not.

One Saturday evening, I receive a call from the emergency room about a man with a very high white blood cell count. For the past 7 years, he had chronic myeloid leukemia – a cancer, but one of the few that can be well controlled for years. The discovery of the medications that can do it revolutionized care for the disease.

For the last 7 years, Mr. C didn’t take that medication regularly. He was young, with no other medical problems, and this was the only medication he was supposed to take. But his use was sporadic at best.

What was it, I wondered? Cost? Side effects? Not understanding the seriousness of having leukemia? No, the medication was fully covered by his insurance. No, he tolerated it well. Instead, his on-and-off medication schedule came across as a strange sense of apathy. He didn’t seem to recognize his agency in his own life.

Now, not only is his white count extremely high, but the majority are the cancerous cells. I look at his blood under the microscope – blasts everywhere. He has progressed from a chronic, indolent disease that can be kept at bay into the dreaded blast crisis, which is essentially an acute leukemia but even more challenging to treat.

It is very serious. I tell him this. “I am worried your leukemia has progressed into what we call a blast crisis,” I say. “Has anyone ever talked to you about this before?”

“Hmm, I think Dr. M may have said something,” he says. His medical chart over the last 7 years was populated with notes from his hematologist documenting their discussions of this possibility.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

“This is serious,” I continue. “You will need to come into the hospital and we need to start medication to lower your white count. Otherwise you could have a stroke.”

“Okay.”

“As the white count comes down, your cells will break open and the chemicals in them can make you very sick. So we will have to check your blood often to watch for this.”

“Got it.”

“And we will change your chemotherapy pill.” I pause, letting it sink in, then repeat for emphasis: “This is very serious.”

“Sure thing, Doc.”

“I know I’ve said a lot. What are your thoughts?”

He looks at his wife, then back at me. He seems unfazed. Just as unfazed as when his hematologist warned this could happen. Just as unfazed as the day he learned his diagnosis.

He smiles and shrugs. “What will be, will be.”

As I listened to him, I honestly couldn’t tell if this was the best coping mechanism I had ever seen or the worst.

On one hand, his apathy had hurt him, clearly and indisputably. Refusing to acknowledge his agency in his medical outcomes allowed him to be cavalier about taking the cure. The cure was in a bottle on his kitchen shelf, an arm’s reach away, and he chose to reach elsewhere.

On the other hand, it was unusual to see someone so at peace with being so critically ill. His acceptance of his new reality was refreshing. There were no heartbreaking questions about whether this was his fault. There was no agonizing over what could have been. His apathy gave him closure and his loved ones comfort.

I’ve written before about how a cancer diagnosis involves holding two seemingly competing ideas in one’s mind at once. Last month, I wrote about how it is possible to be realistic about a grim prognosis while retaining hope that a treatment may work. I discussed that realism and hopefulness are compatible beliefs, and it’s okay – preferred, even – to hold them at once.

Mr. C’s strange sense of apathy made me think about another mental limbo, this one involving control. As doctors and patients, we like when we have agency over outcomes. Take these medications, and you will be okay. Undergo this procedure, and you will reduce your risk of recurrence. At the same time, poor outcomes still occur when everything is done “right.” When that happens, it can be psychologically beneficial to relinquish control. Doing so discards the unhelpful emotions of guilt and blame in favor of acceptance.

Mr. C’s apathy seemed to be present from day 1. But now, in a dire blast crisis, what was once a harmful attitude actually became a helpful one.

His “what will be, will be” attitude wasn’t inherently maladaptive; it was ill timed. Under the right circumstances, well-placed apathy can be leveraged as a positive coping mechanism.

But alas, if only there were a switch to turn on the right emotion at the right time. There’s no right or wrong or sensible reaction to cancer. There’s only a swirl of messy, overwhelming feelings. It’s trying to bring effective emotions to light at the right time while playing whack-a-mole with the others. It’s cognitive dissonance. It’s exhausting. Cancer doesn’t create personalities; it surfaces them.

It’s the last day of Mr. C’s hospitalization. His blast crisis is amazingly under good control.

“So,” I say. “Will you take your medications now?”

“Sure,” he says instinctively. I look at him. “I mean, honestly, Doc? I’m not sure.”

As we shake hands, I wonder if I’ll ever truly understand Mr. C’s motivations. But I can’t wonder too long. I can only control my part: I hand him his medications and wish him luck.

Minor details of this story were changed to protect privacy.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

 

The diagnosis was straightforward. My patient’s reaction was not.

One Saturday evening, I receive a call from the emergency room about a man with a very high white blood cell count. For the past 7 years, he had chronic myeloid leukemia – a cancer, but one of the few that can be well controlled for years. The discovery of the medications that can do it revolutionized care for the disease.

For the last 7 years, Mr. C didn’t take that medication regularly. He was young, with no other medical problems, and this was the only medication he was supposed to take. But his use was sporadic at best.

What was it, I wondered? Cost? Side effects? Not understanding the seriousness of having leukemia? No, the medication was fully covered by his insurance. No, he tolerated it well. Instead, his on-and-off medication schedule came across as a strange sense of apathy. He didn’t seem to recognize his agency in his own life.

Now, not only is his white count extremely high, but the majority are the cancerous cells. I look at his blood under the microscope – blasts everywhere. He has progressed from a chronic, indolent disease that can be kept at bay into the dreaded blast crisis, which is essentially an acute leukemia but even more challenging to treat.

It is very serious. I tell him this. “I am worried your leukemia has progressed into what we call a blast crisis,” I say. “Has anyone ever talked to you about this before?”

“Hmm, I think Dr. M may have said something,” he says. His medical chart over the last 7 years was populated with notes from his hematologist documenting their discussions of this possibility.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz

“This is serious,” I continue. “You will need to come into the hospital and we need to start medication to lower your white count. Otherwise you could have a stroke.”

“Okay.”

“As the white count comes down, your cells will break open and the chemicals in them can make you very sick. So we will have to check your blood often to watch for this.”

“Got it.”

“And we will change your chemotherapy pill.” I pause, letting it sink in, then repeat for emphasis: “This is very serious.”

“Sure thing, Doc.”

“I know I’ve said a lot. What are your thoughts?”

He looks at his wife, then back at me. He seems unfazed. Just as unfazed as when his hematologist warned this could happen. Just as unfazed as the day he learned his diagnosis.

He smiles and shrugs. “What will be, will be.”

As I listened to him, I honestly couldn’t tell if this was the best coping mechanism I had ever seen or the worst.

On one hand, his apathy had hurt him, clearly and indisputably. Refusing to acknowledge his agency in his medical outcomes allowed him to be cavalier about taking the cure. The cure was in a bottle on his kitchen shelf, an arm’s reach away, and he chose to reach elsewhere.

On the other hand, it was unusual to see someone so at peace with being so critically ill. His acceptance of his new reality was refreshing. There were no heartbreaking questions about whether this was his fault. There was no agonizing over what could have been. His apathy gave him closure and his loved ones comfort.

I’ve written before about how a cancer diagnosis involves holding two seemingly competing ideas in one’s mind at once. Last month, I wrote about how it is possible to be realistic about a grim prognosis while retaining hope that a treatment may work. I discussed that realism and hopefulness are compatible beliefs, and it’s okay – preferred, even – to hold them at once.

Mr. C’s strange sense of apathy made me think about another mental limbo, this one involving control. As doctors and patients, we like when we have agency over outcomes. Take these medications, and you will be okay. Undergo this procedure, and you will reduce your risk of recurrence. At the same time, poor outcomes still occur when everything is done “right.” When that happens, it can be psychologically beneficial to relinquish control. Doing so discards the unhelpful emotions of guilt and blame in favor of acceptance.

Mr. C’s apathy seemed to be present from day 1. But now, in a dire blast crisis, what was once a harmful attitude actually became a helpful one.

His “what will be, will be” attitude wasn’t inherently maladaptive; it was ill timed. Under the right circumstances, well-placed apathy can be leveraged as a positive coping mechanism.

But alas, if only there were a switch to turn on the right emotion at the right time. There’s no right or wrong or sensible reaction to cancer. There’s only a swirl of messy, overwhelming feelings. It’s trying to bring effective emotions to light at the right time while playing whack-a-mole with the others. It’s cognitive dissonance. It’s exhausting. Cancer doesn’t create personalities; it surfaces them.

It’s the last day of Mr. C’s hospitalization. His blast crisis is amazingly under good control.

“So,” I say. “Will you take your medications now?”

“Sure,” he says instinctively. I look at him. “I mean, honestly, Doc? I’m not sure.”

As we shake hands, I wonder if I’ll ever truly understand Mr. C’s motivations. But I can’t wonder too long. I can only control my part: I hand him his medications and wish him luck.

Minor details of this story were changed to protect privacy.
 

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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Doctor, will you please lie to me?

Article Type
Changed
Tue, 04/02/2019 - 08:00

“Doctor, I have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever had a patient – I mean, someone like me, someone in my ... state ... get cured without any treatment?”

Mr. B thought he felt too well to have an aggressive cancer infiltrating his liver, abdominal wall, and lungs. He lived an active life, going to church, volunteering, and playing with his grandchildren. But the biopsy results were back. It wasn’t an infection. It wasn’t inflammation. It was stage 4 cancer.

And just like that, his life changed.

His prognosis was likely months, with a best case scenario of several years. But gone were the days of thinking 10, 20, and 30 years ahead.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz


Mr. B was a spiritual person. He told me this was God’s plan for him. He trusted God to get him through this, so he would not need chemotherapy.

Looking for hope in the face of terrible news is a common reaction. It’s natural. We tend to be optimists, and we look for a silver lining. We look for the “but.”

Patients and doctors alike do this.

“The cancer is metastatic ... but we have chemotherapy that can slow it down.”

“The doctor told me the median survival is 3 months ... but I plan to beat those odds.”

“Your mother is dying ... but we have good medicines to make her comfortable.”

 

 


It’s not a bad thing. It’s an adaptive mechanism and positive outlooks can even be associated with better medical outcomes. There’s almost always a “but” if you look hard enough. And in the face of life-changing news, we are incentivized to look really, really hard.

Yet Mr. B caught me off guard because he wasn’t asking me to maintain hope. He was pushing me one step further.

At one point in our conversation, he revealed this clearly. “Doctor, I don’t even care if it’s false hope – just tell me the cancer will disappear.”

Mr. B was asking me to lie to him.

The last thing I wanted was to take away hope, closing the door on a future that truly was clouded in uncertainty. But I also couldn’t look him in the eye and tell him his incurable disease was, in fact, curable.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to phrase things kindly. Patients respond differently to “there’s a 90% chance of survival” and “there’s a 10% chance of death” even though the facts are identical.

When I sense a person like Mr. B is looking to me for hope, I try to frame that initial conversation in the style of the first statement. It’s not dishonest. With an already overwhelming piece of information, it’s choosing to share the most positive version of a narrative that can be told in many different ways and will evolve over time.

Moreover, being hopeful and realistic are not mutually exclusive. Just because someone is seeking the rare chance of a good outcome doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. It is possible to seek out experimental drugs while also considering hospice. It is possible to hope for a plan A while preparing for a plan B. Those are two compatible beliefs, and it’s OK – preferred, even – to hold them at once.

The challenge is avoiding getting pulled into an outlook that is not just positive, not just unlikely – but one with no basis in reality. There’s hope – and then there’s false hope. There’s a positive take – and then there’s lying. It can be a fine line, and with the intention of being kind it can be all too easy to “yes, but” our way into untruths.

The best we can do is set limits with compassion, and understand that telling the truth doesn’t always mean that someone hears it.

“Have you ever had a patient – I mean, someone like me, someone in my ... state ... get cured without any treatment?”

The chances of Mr. B’s cancer responding to chemotherapy were not good but hardly impossible. But without any therapy at all?

“I have not.”

“What about at other places ... in other states or countries. Have you ever heard of a person like me who was cured without treatment?”

“I have not.”

“I guess what I’m asking, Doctor, is ... have you ever seen where the cancer was there and then one day was not ... have you ever seen a miracle?”

Reaching. Grasping.

“I have not.”

“Well,” he said, “Maybe I will be the first.”

We look at each other, pondering this. In my silence is the answer.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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“Doctor, I have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever had a patient – I mean, someone like me, someone in my ... state ... get cured without any treatment?”

Mr. B thought he felt too well to have an aggressive cancer infiltrating his liver, abdominal wall, and lungs. He lived an active life, going to church, volunteering, and playing with his grandchildren. But the biopsy results were back. It wasn’t an infection. It wasn’t inflammation. It was stage 4 cancer.

And just like that, his life changed.

His prognosis was likely months, with a best case scenario of several years. But gone were the days of thinking 10, 20, and 30 years ahead.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz


Mr. B was a spiritual person. He told me this was God’s plan for him. He trusted God to get him through this, so he would not need chemotherapy.

Looking for hope in the face of terrible news is a common reaction. It’s natural. We tend to be optimists, and we look for a silver lining. We look for the “but.”

Patients and doctors alike do this.

“The cancer is metastatic ... but we have chemotherapy that can slow it down.”

“The doctor told me the median survival is 3 months ... but I plan to beat those odds.”

“Your mother is dying ... but we have good medicines to make her comfortable.”

 

 


It’s not a bad thing. It’s an adaptive mechanism and positive outlooks can even be associated with better medical outcomes. There’s almost always a “but” if you look hard enough. And in the face of life-changing news, we are incentivized to look really, really hard.

Yet Mr. B caught me off guard because he wasn’t asking me to maintain hope. He was pushing me one step further.

At one point in our conversation, he revealed this clearly. “Doctor, I don’t even care if it’s false hope – just tell me the cancer will disappear.”

Mr. B was asking me to lie to him.

The last thing I wanted was to take away hope, closing the door on a future that truly was clouded in uncertainty. But I also couldn’t look him in the eye and tell him his incurable disease was, in fact, curable.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to phrase things kindly. Patients respond differently to “there’s a 90% chance of survival” and “there’s a 10% chance of death” even though the facts are identical.

When I sense a person like Mr. B is looking to me for hope, I try to frame that initial conversation in the style of the first statement. It’s not dishonest. With an already overwhelming piece of information, it’s choosing to share the most positive version of a narrative that can be told in many different ways and will evolve over time.

Moreover, being hopeful and realistic are not mutually exclusive. Just because someone is seeking the rare chance of a good outcome doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. It is possible to seek out experimental drugs while also considering hospice. It is possible to hope for a plan A while preparing for a plan B. Those are two compatible beliefs, and it’s OK – preferred, even – to hold them at once.

The challenge is avoiding getting pulled into an outlook that is not just positive, not just unlikely – but one with no basis in reality. There’s hope – and then there’s false hope. There’s a positive take – and then there’s lying. It can be a fine line, and with the intention of being kind it can be all too easy to “yes, but” our way into untruths.

The best we can do is set limits with compassion, and understand that telling the truth doesn’t always mean that someone hears it.

“Have you ever had a patient – I mean, someone like me, someone in my ... state ... get cured without any treatment?”

The chances of Mr. B’s cancer responding to chemotherapy were not good but hardly impossible. But without any therapy at all?

“I have not.”

“What about at other places ... in other states or countries. Have you ever heard of a person like me who was cured without treatment?”

“I have not.”

“I guess what I’m asking, Doctor, is ... have you ever seen where the cancer was there and then one day was not ... have you ever seen a miracle?”

Reaching. Grasping.

“I have not.”

“Well,” he said, “Maybe I will be the first.”

We look at each other, pondering this. In my silence is the answer.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

“Doctor, I have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever had a patient – I mean, someone like me, someone in my ... state ... get cured without any treatment?”

Mr. B thought he felt too well to have an aggressive cancer infiltrating his liver, abdominal wall, and lungs. He lived an active life, going to church, volunteering, and playing with his grandchildren. But the biopsy results were back. It wasn’t an infection. It wasn’t inflammation. It was stage 4 cancer.

And just like that, his life changed.

His prognosis was likely months, with a best case scenario of several years. But gone were the days of thinking 10, 20, and 30 years ahead.

Dr. Ilana Yurkiewicz


Mr. B was a spiritual person. He told me this was God’s plan for him. He trusted God to get him through this, so he would not need chemotherapy.

Looking for hope in the face of terrible news is a common reaction. It’s natural. We tend to be optimists, and we look for a silver lining. We look for the “but.”

Patients and doctors alike do this.

“The cancer is metastatic ... but we have chemotherapy that can slow it down.”

“The doctor told me the median survival is 3 months ... but I plan to beat those odds.”

“Your mother is dying ... but we have good medicines to make her comfortable.”

 

 


It’s not a bad thing. It’s an adaptive mechanism and positive outlooks can even be associated with better medical outcomes. There’s almost always a “but” if you look hard enough. And in the face of life-changing news, we are incentivized to look really, really hard.

Yet Mr. B caught me off guard because he wasn’t asking me to maintain hope. He was pushing me one step further.

At one point in our conversation, he revealed this clearly. “Doctor, I don’t even care if it’s false hope – just tell me the cancer will disappear.”

Mr. B was asking me to lie to him.

The last thing I wanted was to take away hope, closing the door on a future that truly was clouded in uncertainty. But I also couldn’t look him in the eye and tell him his incurable disease was, in fact, curable.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to phrase things kindly. Patients respond differently to “there’s a 90% chance of survival” and “there’s a 10% chance of death” even though the facts are identical.

When I sense a person like Mr. B is looking to me for hope, I try to frame that initial conversation in the style of the first statement. It’s not dishonest. With an already overwhelming piece of information, it’s choosing to share the most positive version of a narrative that can be told in many different ways and will evolve over time.

Moreover, being hopeful and realistic are not mutually exclusive. Just because someone is seeking the rare chance of a good outcome doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. It is possible to seek out experimental drugs while also considering hospice. It is possible to hope for a plan A while preparing for a plan B. Those are two compatible beliefs, and it’s OK – preferred, even – to hold them at once.

The challenge is avoiding getting pulled into an outlook that is not just positive, not just unlikely – but one with no basis in reality. There’s hope – and then there’s false hope. There’s a positive take – and then there’s lying. It can be a fine line, and with the intention of being kind it can be all too easy to “yes, but” our way into untruths.

The best we can do is set limits with compassion, and understand that telling the truth doesn’t always mean that someone hears it.

“Have you ever had a patient – I mean, someone like me, someone in my ... state ... get cured without any treatment?”

The chances of Mr. B’s cancer responding to chemotherapy were not good but hardly impossible. But without any therapy at all?

“I have not.”

“What about at other places ... in other states or countries. Have you ever heard of a person like me who was cured without treatment?”

“I have not.”

“I guess what I’m asking, Doctor, is ... have you ever seen where the cancer was there and then one day was not ... have you ever seen a miracle?”

Reaching. Grasping.

“I have not.”

“Well,” he said, “Maybe I will be the first.”

We look at each other, pondering this. In my silence is the answer.

Dr. Yurkiewicz is a fellow in hematology and oncology at Stanford (Calif.) University. Follow her on Twitter @ilanayurkiewicz.

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